“There is something about you that I’ve always found disorienting. Also, on a mechanical level, you never sounded like a good idea.”
“I couldn’t hear all of the things that you said under your breath in order for me to hear them. I missed the first word, but the next few were, ‘… and thick, and pretty, and cute.’ I laughed, because I couldn’t help it. You have braces. You may have mistaken the laugh for a giggle. I also think you were talking to a girl on the phone while you were making your sotto voce commentary.”
“You don’t get to keep looking at me when your seat saving means that my son and I are standing. Well, not without me thinking disparaging thoughts about your appearance. I, however, do get to keep looking at you and the two empty seats next to you. I get to think, ‘you look like the kind to be stood up.’”
S’mores cake in a jar sounds so good!
Look at her drawings! I love them.
I’ve been seduced by the Invisibilia podcast.
I have to love that articles about donuts are research for a future project.
I have a special place in my heart for pretzel dogs .
“I hate you. If there were a slur that could be applied to bad days, I would probably not use it, but I would be tempted to. If I were a smoker, I would have lit up two cigarettes and smoked them both, first the right hand cigarette, then the left hand cigarette. I will neither confirm nor deny spending some time today eating my feelings. You are not welcome around here. Go away forever. Die.”