“Two things. 1. I hope you enjoy being a lieutenant on the blackness policing force. 2. Do you realize that you have a tendency to use third person when talking about us blacks?”
“I don’t remember when I wrote, ‘I bet that no-flush heffa’ didn’t wash her hands,’ but I can only imagine how upset I was when I wrote it. I bet you saved me from an uncomfortable moment.”
“I am struggling not to ‘call you out your name.’ I am barely holding on.”
“I did actually mean leotard. I did not mean leopard.”
“In theory, no one should ever run off with a single woman’s batteries. What if I really, really needed those.”
“Why would you ask me how much I weigh? Why would you push on the question once I told you, clearly, that I wasn’t going to answer that.”
“I sensed a little anger from you because I didn’t move my shopping cart forward when you thought I should. However, your four-year-old’s fingers were a couple inches away from the wheels of the cart, so I decided to, you know, spare his fingers. I’m trying to be a better person, so I not going […]
A while ago, in a conversation with my bestie, I joked that there should be break up greeting cards. He and I went back and forth about the idea for a while and had some good, loud, belly-shaking laughs.
Fast forward several months, and one serious breakup into the future. The idea remains; I’m in love.
So, I’ve decided to make my own break up cards. I might as well do something with all of the crafting supplies and skills that I’ve acquired over the years, right? Help out others who just want to do the deed and move on?
This is altruism, right?
Don’t answer that.
If you want to see the results the of many, many breakup card ideas that I’ve jotted down in the time since that original idea seduced me, or if you want to see the results of the many, many break up card ideas that I’ve jotted down in the time since I’ve entered the dating world again, follow Hard to Deux on Instagram.
If you find yourself in need of a breakup card (or you feel the need to slip one to a friend who needs one, but doesn’t know it yet). Let me know…we can work something out.
“I still feel guilty for not saying anything. I got paralyzed. I didn’t know what to say. You were at least a floor above me. I hope that you had another one, or at least that were wearing black pants, or that you have someone at your job who slipped you a tampon. I vow […]
I’ve decided to listen to the songs listed in the book 1001 Songs You Must Hear Before You Die.
I don’t know a whole bunch about music. And I’m fine with that. It’s one of those art forms that I enjoy as a consumer, but have no desire to create, which makes me engage with it differently.
However, often, when I’m listening to a song, it seems like it’s another song’s cousin. I think that listening to these songs will be informative and will enhance my enjoyment of music.
I also find that, once introduced, I like a wide variety of music. I’m hoping that this little endeavor will help me to discover more things that I like…or even remember things that I like.
Here at the beginning of this 38th year, I am about 30 songs in. Assuming that I don’t totally abandon the project, I should have no problem knocking this out this year. I look forward to it.