“I must confess it was the slice of skin made visible by the deficit between the bottom of your shirt and the top of your pants that first caught my eye. Then I noticed just how round your belly was. It was as if the gods scooped it from a tub of tummy then molded in their hands to create a perfect sphere of flesh. It was so round and so out there that I really, really, wanted to run up to you and touch it. I wanted to slap it between my hands, to be more precise. I resisted, though my urge was strong. I wonder if this same feeling, the virtual tingling of my hands urging me, “touch it, touch it,” is what the straight-haired strangers who plunged uninvited hands into my hair were feeling….”
“I want so badly for you to be a word. Of course you would mean to remove the panties of, but you would be a word that is only used in certain applications. Depanty is not a word for lovers. Depanty is something that goes with too hot clothing on too hot days. Depanty is the word that goes with every pair of wayward panties spotted on the side of the road.”
“If I can be honest with you, I have to say that I feel like starting a site of nothing but letters to you. However, I think that my friends and family might stage an intervention. I can’t afford to have an intervention until I’ve at least ready the Robert Caro volumes. Now, I think it’s time to get back to the courtship letters exchanged between you and Lady Bird….”
Have the feelings. Know that they are there. Realize that feelings are fleeting things. Be okay with that.
Decide that you are going to do something for yourself that involves neither salt, sugar, nor fat.
One option is to have your first ever pedicure done by someone other than yourself or your relatives.
Be overwhelmed by the options.
Try to relax though you’re not exactly sure what the steps nor the etiquette are.
Make use of the options in the massage chair.
Spend some time imagining the life of the man getting his own pedicure.
Try to look at the book of the woman near you who is getting a pedicure.
Wonder why you didn’t bring your own book.
Marvel at how this pedicure feels a bit like a dental cleaning but, obviously, for your feet.
Don’t think about the waterfall wall.
Be glad that you took this time to do something for yourself.
Spend weird amounts of time looking at your feet for the rest of the day.
When William Henry Harrison and John Tyler ran for office, they were nicknamed the fertility ticket. Between the two of them, they had 25 children. Each and every time I think about that, I feel all of my internal organs quiver in fear upon even considering what it would be like to birth as many children as either (well, any–John Tyler married twice) of their wives did.
There are so many little things to remember about this whole Harrison-Tyler thing, if you’re so inclined to think about these sorts of things. “Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too,” was one of their campaign slogans. Like many before, and many after him, Harrison’s military performance gave him political cachet. In this case General Harrison led the battle against the Shawnee at the Battle of Tippecanoe.
William Henry Harrison was old when he ran for office. At his inauguration, he was 68 years old. This was 68 years old in 1840, which is a little different than being 68 years old today. In fact, opponents, in reference to his age suggested that he be given a barrel of hard cider and a pension to ease him into a quiet retirement (at his log cabin).
His party, the Whigs, took advantage of this quip and turned this into a part of the campaign. They represented William Henry Harrison as the log cabin candidate, convincing folks that, unlike Van Buren, he was a common man of humble origins. However, this wasn’t the case. Harrison was the well-born of the two, and Van Buren is who had come from a poor background. It’s interesting that the first president to actively campaign for the office, introduced elements that stay with us now. Hey, here’s a relatable story! Hey, here is how the candidate is just like you! Hey, here is how he’s different from the other guy!
Though his campaign was successful, tragedy followed for President Harrison. After delivering a long inaugural speech in the cold with no outerwear (he wanted to look like a vigorous man who could handle the elements), he fell ill. His illness developed into the pneumonia that would kill him on his 32nd day in the job.
This also gave us the practice of the Vice President becoming president in the event that the president dies. The Cake: During the Log Cabin and Hard Cider campaign, these candidates essentially threw parties. There were songs! The hard cider flowed as did whiskey. These are the flavors that I called upon for this cake. The cupcake is apple-flavored, using apple butter. There is a bit of whiskey in the cake as well. The cupcake is filled with an apple whipped cream and a small bit of apple butter. Finally, it is topped with whiskey buttercream frosting.
“Thank you for being the place where I can take a look into the lives of the bloggers I follow. I love the daily emails, and the binge viewing that you help me pursue. Please stay around. Oh, and since I use you every day, I suppose I should claim all of my blogs there….”
“I am disturbed by how quickly your auto fill mechanism knew that I wanted the word, ‘inappropriate.’”