In an open letter to the parent who impatiently blew her horn at me when my son was kissing me goodbye,

“My immediate thought was that you were jealous because your child doesn’t kiss you every morning. Then I just thought you were selfish because you wanted to get out so quickly and wanted me to move even though there was plenty of space for you to back up and then pull out. By the way, why were you so close to my car? But that was weeks ago, and I must try to forgive because I am trying to grow in that area. Then you tempted me this morning. You see, you couldn’t get into the building this morning. I saw your bare pasty legs because you think that November is the right time for capri pants. Where do you find them at your short height? I digress. I hope that your disproportionately meaty calves were cold this morning, very, very cold. And yes, I did rather enjoy my son’s morning goodbye kiss….”

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