In an open letter to Joe Biden,

“I need you more now than I have ever needed you. Can you visit me tonight while I sleep, you know, in my dreams? You can do whatever you want. You can read legislation verbatim. Bring Jill, brush her hair. Anything. You might be the only thing that can stop me from having another dream where I sexually harass the current president-elect and get told off be a lecture hall full of voyeurs. Please help if you can.”

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