In an open letter to the white haired gentleman in the Toyota Camry,
“What an impressive head of hair. I mean, the rest of us are supposed to keep an eye on the road….”
“What an impressive head of hair. I mean, the rest of us are supposed to keep an eye on the road….”
“Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.”
“I’m so glad that we can be together again. I’ve missed you.”
“Your hiccups last night were adorable!”
“Thanks for letting me sleep all night without having to get up to visit the bathroom. What a birthday treat! That very strong wallop you delivered as soon as I did wake up made it feel extra thoughtful.”
“Hey, thanks to you we got a sneak peek at the baby. Also, thanks for staying the same size. In fact, y’all were down there and I was none the wiser. Keep it up and you’re welcome to stay.”
“Whew! That took awhile. You gave me the chance to have a whole eyeball conversation with the other black lady in line. For that, I thank you.”
“Sir, you were pushing what appeared to be a very heavy cart. You put everyone’s toes in jeopardy. Be better.”
“The correct verb tense for the facilitation of bus service in the district should have been ‘run’ not ‘ran.’ You might think about running your long-winded phone bulletins by one of the English teachers.”
“I never knew that despite my love for food and cooking, I only ever want to eat a certain amount of times per day. I am tired of snacks. Now excuse me while I eat this apple and granola bar.”