In an open letter to the man of many hats at the hotel,

“I’m sure you mean well, I guess, but despite my politeness, I will not be calling what appears to be your personal number that you jotted down on the back of your business card. I think that if I do come back to DC that I can manage without any ‘help.’ Thanks for the offer though….”

You can edit this ad by going editing the index.php file or opening /images/exampleAd.gif

In an open letter to the lady whose pockets I can see peeking out from the bottom of her cut-off shorts,

“I can see your rump. And I think we are about one half centimeter away from me seeing some of your more gender specific parts.”

In an open letter to the cat caller who tried to shame me this afternoon,

“Contrary to the many things you said toward me as I refused to respond to your yelling, I don’t think that I’m better than other people. I simply don’t respond to cat calls. It’s a personal rule. It doesn’t have anything to do with me being ‘stuck up.’ Also, while you think that I need to think about my stuck up ways and ‘get myself right,” I think you need to think about your cat calling ways and get yourself right….”

In an open letter to the woman with the long weave and exposed buttocks,

” Girl, you remind me of a DJ assault song.”

In an open letter to her body language,

“you’re doing something wrong. I’m trying to make you look like you don’t want to be bothered. However, you are the one that everyone chooses to walk in front of.

In an open letter to the guy who reminds me of Joe Biden,

“I am impressed by the attention you clearly paid to your ponytail.”

In an open letter to the guy looks like Jean Michel Basquiat,

“I saw you cut in line. May you avoid an overdose.”

In an open letter to the autocorrect on my phone,

“Never mind that I was trying to type the word ‘negress;’ you know I’m into history. It’s what you thought I meant that surprised me a bit.”

In an open letter to Kelis,

“Do you have any advice for those who only want to bring some of the boys to the yard? Do you still have to charge?”

In an open letter to authors of and listeners to songs that encourage folks to drop it down to the floor,

“Mightn’t you want to keep it off of the floor?”