In an open letter to the better angels of my nature,
“Please help me avoid asking that man if he dyes his very thick, very dark mustache.”
“Please help me avoid asking that man if he dyes his very thick, very dark mustache.”
“My voyeuristic eye zoomed in on this public intimacy. Now, I am fixated on your dirty fingernails.”
“I’m having a hard time reconciling the tightness of your ponytail with the looseness of your lips.”
“You are cramping my style.”
“Did you seriously say that you wouldn’t have carded that woman based on her arms alone?”
“Um…. That didn’t make me feel safe….”
“I fear that I’ve neglected you too long and now you don’t come to me easily. I’d love to see you again. Soon.”
“I can’t help but notice your book, glasses, mustache and ponytail. Oh and your little book of notes. I’m dying to know, what are you reading?”
“You got this place smelling like a gas station bathroom.”
“How exactly did you hit my hip with your napkin? Twice.”