Open Letters:

From Me to Some of Everyone

In an open letter to the woman in very short shorts and fishnet stockings,

“If this were a Nelly concert I would think you were thematically dressed, letting it fall out and all. If this were Morris Day and the Time I would think you were paying Homage.”

In an open letter to the lady in the drugstore buying allergy medicine and condoms,

“Please tell me these two items are not related to each other.”