“Did you seriously just refer to Native Americans and make that noise…you know the one, gesture a headdress, AND say ‘you know, the one with the tipis’? Then, did you go into African American vs black? I’m thinking about accidentally spilling my drink on you. And I totally think you’re the silent farter.”
“Your conversation is disturbing my reading…and I am good at ignoring background noise. And why are you talking about cavities, whether treatment can be postponed, and the spectre of extraction at an eating establishment?”
“Why do I overhear you talking about taking the ACT? Wait, did I just hear you say PSAT?!?”
“So about jokes that imply rape…not my favorite.”
“I’m not surprised that you’re going to see A Bad Moms Christmas. Not surprised at all.”
“I could not look away. I am ashamed of this fact.”
“Isn’t Sunday the day of rest?”
“Wait, is the fountain of youth in my pants? Otherwise, I have no viable reason for that sort of penetrating look.”
“Gentlemen, each of you deserve your own open letter. I have so many questions. Like, what were you looking for?”
“What exactly were you trying to convey with your ‘Hey now’? What about your ‘Damn’?”