“While you might not be able to understand how someone goes ‘from having a problem to not having a problem,’ so fast, I can think of a number of ways that can happen. Also, you’re never going to convince a woman who’s giving her child money that she shouldn’t if that’s what she thinks needs to […]
Author: sherlonya
In an open letter to the men in the waiting room at the car dealership,
“You just reminded me that I find it uncomfortable to use a waiting room when I am the only female. This is exacerbated when y’all are yawning, laughing, leaning, and having conversations louder than the loud TV.”
In an open letter to the woman wearing very thin, very tight khakis this morning,
“One glance and my mind went crazy. It looked like your underwear was pressing equally hard into your flesh as it was into the thin pants you wore. But it is the thought of the sweet, sweet relief that you must feel when you take those things off that captivated me. I wonder if you […]
In an open letter to the body that I’ve apparently angered,
“I’m thinking that feeling decidedly worse after a couple of days of moderate cold sensations isn’t a good thing. What about that afternoon in bed? Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
In an open letter to the many old people I saw at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Museum,
“Y’all come out in force, don’t you. You didn’t fool me though. You wanted to learn President Carter’s secret to longevity, no?”
In an open to Pandora,
“You know, I think I need my Barry White limited. Barry White unlimited, was just too much for me.”
In an open letter to the girls running around in this hotel,
“I know that lots of people say that leggings aren’t pants, but what I need to say is that tights aren’t pants. Tights. Are. Not. Pants.”
In an open letter to the portly gentleman in synthetic pants,
“I am upset by the visibility of your junk. This is my problem; I understand this.”
In an open letter to my Sunday shopping trip at Costco,
“All I wanted were snacks for my upcoming road trip, and contact solution. What I got, however, was the unfortunate knowledge that too many people cough and sneeze happily without covering their mouths.”
In an open letter to the woman who I watched wipe down a table at Panera,
“I am so confused by your logic. You see, you wiped the table down with a paper towel that was wet with water, and no cleanser. So, you didn’t clean anything, you just smeared whatever might have been on the table around. Then you left the paper towel on the table. Then you moved your […]