“Because I am who I am, I am willing to remain in a conversation with anyone who brings up Jonathan Edwards. However, I could never have imagined that you would also bring up Greek communists during World War II and the exile that followed, John Engler v. Jennifer Granholm, mental health and the emergency room, […]
Author: sherlonya
In an open letter to the gentleman with whom I had an involved, ranging conversation this afternoon,
“Because I am who I am, I am willing to remain in a conversation with anyone who brings up Jonathan Edwards. However, I could never have imagined that you would also bring up Greek communists during World War II and the exile that followed, John Engler v. Jennifer Granholm, mental health and the emergency room, […]
I open letter to the barista who is successfully working that whole Minnie Mouse vibe,
“How do you do it?”
In an open letter to her arms,
“Because I need to be decently groomed tomorrow, you are going to get a workout tonight. I will be as quick as I can with the flat iron, but you know how much hair is up there. You can do this.”
In an open letter to the ideas that fluttered into my mind when I was driving and unable to jot them down,
“Nobody likes a tease.”
In an open letter to Rod Stewart,
“Though, finding myself on the wrong side of this behavior too many times, I am opposed to one stranger reaching out to touch the hair of another without permission. That said, if I ever find myself in close proximity to you, I am going to try to touch your hair. My fingers itch with curiosity….”
In an open letter to the man with the impressively round belly,
“Your proud, round, sun-kissed belly reminds me of some rolls I made once. They were so warm, and buttery. They were fragrant and sweet, and they tasted like love. Now, my mouth is watering and I don’t know how to feel about that….”
In an open letter to the old over-tanned ladies discussing men in Speedos,
“It was the word Speedo that got my attention. However, it was the phrase ‘balls just a hangin’ that made me put my book down do that I could laugh fully and completely.”
In an open letter to all of these old people in bathing suits,
“The writer in me is being overwhelmed with the many similes that are appropriate to describe these many textures.”
In an open letter to the older intoxicated lady encountered at the gas station,
“I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but that was my breast you just patted….”