“Had you not been holding up the line to offer the cashier an offer he couldn’t refuse, I would never have noticed just how used up you looked. When you got the name and email address of the guy behind the counter, then stopped again to make sure that you were pronouncing his name correctly, […]
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In an open letter to the man in front of me in line at Starbucks who reminded me of Jesse Pinkman,
“First I was surprised when you ordered a white chocolate mocha and handed over your stainless steel travel mug. But it was your request for caramel drizzle that really took it to the next level.”
In an open letter to the eighth grade social studies teacher who asked us to write about what we would have done had we been slaves,
“I wonder what you were thinking when you berated the class for giving unrealistic answers to that question. I wonder if it had ever crossed your mind that perhaps you didn’t frame the question properly. It isn’t even as if we had studied any primary texts or other things to help us put your question […]
In an open letter to DJ Assault,
“Even though I understand in my heart that your lyrics weren’t meant to be pondered thoroughly, I so often feel confused if I think about your words at all.’
In an open letter to the man who is still talking loudly,
“Everyone in the entire dealership knows that Planet Fitness has some rules that you don’t like. We hear that you think that you should be able to bring guests with your basic membership.”
In an open letter to the man who continues his loud conversation in the waiting room,
“While you’re surprised that Planet Fitness, does not offer a sauna, this is not surprising. Also, saying, ‘Asking big girl who has one isn’t an option,’ just wasn’t nice. And just who are you talking to, asking her whether she’s paying her car note today? For a man who divulged that he’s only going to […]
In an open letter to the man in the waiting room who is now talking about someone’s money situation,
“While you might not be able to understand how someone goes ‘from having a problem to not having a problem,’ so fast, I can think of a number of ways that can happen. Also, you’re never going to convince a woman who’s giving her child money that she shouldn’t if that’s what she thinks needs to […]
In an open letter to the men in the waiting room at the car dealership,
“You just reminded me that I find it uncomfortable to use a waiting room when I am the only female. This is exacerbated when y’all are yawning, laughing, leaning, and having conversations louder than the loud TV.”
In an open letter to the woman wearing very thin, very tight khakis this morning,
“One glance and my mind went crazy. It looked like your underwear was pressing equally hard into your flesh as it was into the thin pants you wore. But it is the thought of the sweet, sweet relief that you must feel when you take those things off that captivated me. I wonder if you […]
In an open letter to the body that I’ve apparently angered,
“I’m thinking that feeling decidedly worse after a couple of days of moderate cold sensations isn’t a good thing. What about that afternoon in bed? Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”