Unpictured: used tissues, thumping headache, mouth breathing, whiskey
Category: Uncategorized
In an open letter to the many old people I saw at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Museum,
“Y’all come out in force, don’t you. You didn’t fool me though. You wanted to learn President Carter’s secret to longevity, no?”
In an open to Pandora,
“You know, I think I need my Barry White limited. Barry White unlimited, was just too much for me.”
In an open letter to the girls running around in this hotel,
“I know that lots of people say that leggings aren’t pants, but what I need to say is that tights aren’t pants. Tights. Are. Not. Pants.”
In an open letter to the portly gentleman in synthetic pants,
“I am upset by the visibility of your junk. This is my problem; I understand this.”
In an open letter to my Sunday shopping trip at Costco,
“All I wanted were snacks for my upcoming road trip, and contact solution. What I got, however, was the unfortunate knowledge that too many people cough and sneeze happily without covering their mouths.”
Bokeh things
A while ago, I bought a DSLR camera. Sometime before my road trip to Texas. I’ve added some lenses here and there, and have spent some small amount of time learning how to do things with the camera. When I’m planning to go somewhere, I usually find myself reading tutorials that will help me to… Continue reading Bokeh things
In an open letter to the woman who I watched wipe down a table at Panera,
“I am so confused by your logic. You see, you wiped the table down with a paper towel that was wet with water, and no cleanser. So, you didn’t clean anything, you just smeared whatever might have been on the table around. Then you left the paper towel on the table. Then you moved your […]
In an open letter to the apparent coworkers who were victims of my eavesdropping,
“I know that you are boss and employee. Therefore, the intimacy of that lean-in disturbed me. Deeply. Additionally, I don’t know how to reconcile that whole wedding band issue. I might not sleep soundly tonight.”
In an open letter to that unfortunate braless period in college,
“I am glad that I got that out of my system when I did….”