“Why are you calling out to me like this? You know that I am interested in the First Ladies primarily as the wives and hostesses of the presidents. I am not interested in them, you all, particularly as individuals. But you threaten my resolve. You are trying to suck me in? You had me Googling […]
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In an open letter to the thick-thighed woman wearing the sheerish gray animal print leggings,
“I have some questions for you. But, the one that stands out to me above all others is whether your red panties were uncomfortable. You see, they left approximately two and a half inches of your upper butt uncovered. You may have some questions for me, based on my penetrating observation, however, I’m more interested […]
In an open letter to the apple spice bagel dough proofing in the refrigerator,
“Don’t look at me like that, with your silent judgment. Your yeasty grin betrays that you think only a fool would contemplate making bagels on a Monday….”
In an open letter to the middle aged woman wearing thin stretch pants,
“It took me a minute to figure out what your backside reminded me of. It seemed so familiar and I couldn’t place it until it came to me all at once. Calf liver!!”
In an open letter to Richard Nixon,
“I didn’t mean to imagine you in the bathtub, and then to imagine you picking at a terry cloth robe. It just happened, and I couldn’t stop…”
In an open letter to the state of Iowa,
“Your pride in the president who hails from your state is evident because of the quantity of signs guiding folks to the related historical site. I like that.”
Pinteresting: Pancakes
Follow Sherlonya’s board Pancakes on Pinterest. There is nothing proper about my feelings for pancakes. In fact, pancakes are one of the very first things that I learned how to make, and I wanted to make them whenever I had the opportunity to do so. Pancakes not only remind me of home, but they remind… Continue reading Pinteresting: Pancakes
In an open letter to her son whose whips are looking more and more *ahem* realistic,
“Dude, I love your creativity and your increasing attention on craftmanship. However, you have got to stop leaving the whips that you make in my passenger seat in the car. It makes me look crazy. It’s not the possession of something that looks like it came from a fetish shop that makes a mom look […]
In an open letter to the state of Indiana,
“I am still thinking about the signs on the highway about Hoosier Helpers. It tickles me so.”
In an open letter to her son who left his completed homework in the car,
“It pained me to see your typed poems left in the passenger area of the car. My instinct was to get this to you somehow, however, it is your job both to complete the homework and to submit the homework. I did my part by asking you about it. I did a little extra when… Continue reading In an open letter to her son who left his completed homework in the car,