Category: Uncategorized
How to eat your feelings 2
You try your best, pull from your reserve of energy to sort yourself out, start fresh. You fail. You hate to fail. You contemplate failure. You feel your past failures begin to swirl around you. It reminds you of the way that a room will begin to spin ominously if you’ve had too much to… Continue reading How to eat your feelings 2
In an open letter to the man who wondered aloud how he could get to be one of my friends,
“There was something very specific and unforgettable about the way that you looked at me. Based on your face, I believe that as I walked toward you you saw something there. Seems like, in your mind, you saw a plate of aromatic pot roast, earthy and savory, topped with an unctuous, fragrant gravy. The kind […]
In an open letter to her legs,
“Thank you for bringing to my attention that I may have accidentally quit shaving. The jury is still out, though, as to whether that’s an action item….”
In an open letter to the tall girl wearing very short shorts,
“It was difficult not to look at your crotch because I wondered whether your shorts were successfully covering your lady bits. I also wondered whether those shorts hurt. But that’s none of my business….”
In an open letter to the gross granola bars I bought in bulk before I knew they were gross,
“It wasn’t until I looked into my lunch bag to discover that, despite my remaining hunger, the bag was empty that I fully appreciated you. The good thing about you is that I certainly won’t eat you when I don’t absolutely need to, but when I do need a little something to get me through […]
In an open letter to the documentary on the Roosevelts,
“For someone whose rock stars are presidents, that movie clip of a young Franklin Roosevelt made me want to scream and faint. My mental landscape has been kissed by the glow of his youthful beauty.”
In an open letter to the police officers I saw just as I drove from New Jersey to New York,
“Your uniforms! You need to let the other people know where you ordered your pants. I saw a number of officers handling something or other and each of them looked good in those pants. Really good. I’m still thinking about it three weeks later good. Nice work.”
In an open letter to Phil Collins,
“Your music makes my heart swell with so many feelings. You, sir, transport me back to the longing of the adolescent years. Not the curiosity, that belongs to Prince, but the longing; you are the soundtrack to that awakening….”
In an open letter to the loud world traveler,
“Hey, I know this could be called eavesdropping. But I have to tell you, I never, ever would have noticed how pale and soft you were if you weren’t talking so loudly and with so much disdain and criticism of others for an extended period of time…. Oh! Are you double-jointed at the elbows?”