“Never mind that I was trying to type the word ‘negress;’ you know I’m into history. It’s what you thought I meant that surprised me a bit.”
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In an open letter to Kelis,
“Do you have any advice for those who only want to bring some of the boys to the yard? Do you still have to charge?”
In an open letter to authors of and listeners to songs that encourage folks to drop it down to the floor,
“Mightn’t you want to keep it off of the floor?”
In an open letter to the woman wearing the short-sleeved sweater,
“It was probably about 6 weeks ago when I saw you. I don’t know whether I was hypnotized, mesmerized, or generally confused. Short sleeved sweaters always confuse me. Yours threw in an additional twist because of the mohair-like texture. When I took a closer look, I saw that your sweater was see through. When I […]
In an open letter to the guy dining outside with his dog,
“So, if you want to sit at your dining room table at home with your dog occupying a chair, that’s great. However, I don’t think that you should be able to have your dog occupy a seat at a restaurant.”
In an open letter to the man she encountered who reminded her of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony,
“You looked at my chest so intently that I felt compelled to verify that nothing had escaped my shirt. You also made strong eye contact. This combination threw me off a little bit.”
In an open letter to the woman who have me a card for a hair extensions business,
“Number 1: how much hair do you think I need? Number 2: I had JUST noticed that the edge hair around here was looking rather skimpy….”
In an open letter to the people behind me in line,
“You are standing so close that by butt feels insecure. I don’t like that. Back up?
In an open letter to TGIFridays,
“I would love to see your employee handbook, particularly the part about the uniform. I suspect to confirm that the phrase, “pack it all in there” is involved re: the pants….”