“Really, there’s nothing much of interest going on in here. Based on the amount of time you spend skulking about in the parking lot and peering in the window, I’d think you’d know that by now. How is it that you’re so omnipresent?”
Tag: neighbors
In an open letter to the woman who selected the elliptical machine right next to mine,
“Why? Just why? Next time I encounter someone like you I am going to just do what I wanted to do, choose another elliptical machine. Doing that and feeling like a jerk is better than becoming angry and tense because out of the eight or so elliptical machines you wanted the one right next to […]
In an open letter to the neighbor in the throes of a football game,
“I am not sure how you’re managing to scream out in a way that sounds like you’re yelling directly into my apartment. That I live on the second floor, and that I don’t directly face anyone, makes this even more perplexing. I wonder if this is an achievement of voice or some strong voice-related muscles….”
In an open letter to the universe,
“So, what exactly is it that invites people to say such interesting things to me? For example, today one neighbor warned another about (against?) me. According to the sentinel neighbor, I am to be watched because I know TaeBo.”