In an open letter to my jilted novel,

“Wow. You really are getting desperate. I Investigate a song and find out that it’s ‘Old Devil Moon.’ I go tumbling down an internet tangent and find myself at Toni Morrison’s feet. What are you trying to do to me? It’s been over three years since we’ve last known each other….”

In an open letter to the blender,

“I suppose that I should just be grateful that this isn’t a eulogy. I know that I’ve been working you hard every day with all of my smoothie making, but yesterday, you gave me a scare. I guess you don’t like to blend collard greens? Maybe I should have romanced you better, seductively adding the […]

In an open letter to cornbread,

“You have filled me with a longing desire. In addition to greasing you with a bit of bacon grease, and spicing you with some hot pepper, there is something else. I want to sing Prince songs to you. This is how deep this yearning pulls….”

In an open letter to a Pantene commercial,

“Commercials usually don’t move me to buy products, however, if there is a song in it that involves both, ‘it be hot like a desert, yo,’ and ‘she be walkin’ like an animal,’ it’s likely that I’m going to track the song down and maybe buy it.”