“You, sir, are a jerk, and had I boy parts, I’d have whipped out one of them and peed on your car. “<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“You, sir, are a jerk, and had I boy parts, I’d have whipped out one of them and peed on your car. “<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[211,212,213,214,215],"class_list":["post-2289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-driving","tag-jerks","tag-not-nice","tag-parking","tag-pee","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-AV","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3046,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-neighbor-nicknamed-keen-interest\/","url_meta":{"origin":2289,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the neighbor nicknamed \u201ckeen interest,\u201d","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cReally, there\u2019s nothing much of interest going on in here. Based on the amount of time you spend skulking about in the parking lot and peering in the window, I\u2019d think you\u2019d know that by now. How is it that you\u2019re so omnipresent?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"neighbors\"","block_context":{"text":"neighbors","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/neighbors\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2978,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-selected-the-elliptical-machine-right-next-to-mine\/","url_meta":{"origin":2289,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who selected the elliptical machine right next to mine,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWhy? Just why? Next time I encounter someone like you I am going to just do what I wanted to do, choose another elliptical machine. Doing that and feeling like a jerk is better than becoming angry and tense because out of the eight or so elliptical machines you wanted\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"exercise\"","block_context":{"text":"exercise","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/exercise\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2297,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/the-delicate-constitution\/","url_meta":{"origin":2289,"position":2},"title":"The Delicate Constitution","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"James Madison is one of those presidents best known for the work that he did before he became president. Most of us think of him as the \u201cFather of the Constitution,\u201d\u00a0it\u2019s author. He thought of himself as one of a team of people whose thoughts gave birth to the Constitution.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Cakes\"","block_context":{"text":"Cakes","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/cakes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"madison2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/madison2-1024x841.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/madison2-1024x841.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/madison2-1024x841.gif?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4460,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/the-amalgamation\/","url_meta":{"origin":2289,"position":3},"title":"The Amalgamation","author":"admin","date":"March 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019ve been asked more than once whether I\u2019d make a chocolate cupcake for President Obama because he is the first black president. Actually, most people who ask that say African-American president. However, considering that I have a website that explores the way that we use food language to describe women,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"obama1","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/obama1.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2422,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-tanned-shirtless-silver-fox-i-saw-on-my-lunch-break\/","url_meta":{"origin":2289,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the tanned, shirtless silver fox I saw on my lunch break,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 1, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir, I have said this before, but I need to say it again; I am not used to this seasonal nudity. You, sir, almost caused me to walk right out into traffic with all your shirtlessness, and that tan, and those abs. You may just be a danger to innocent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2984,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/pumpkin-pie-blondie\/","url_meta":{"origin":2289,"position":5},"title":"Pumpkin Pie Blondie","author":"admin","date":"November 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I am determined to experience the seasons. I love, love, love summer, and want to make sure that I don't spend the years waiting and pining for summer and then ignoring what is nice about the other seasons. One thing that I like about the fall season is the abundance\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/toastingcashews.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2289"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2338,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2289\/revisions\/2338"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}