Dear Mr. President,
I do not appreciate
your presence in my dreams.
Let me not be unclear,
it is one dream,
recurring.<\/p>\n
Why do you stand
on my childhood bed beneath
the canopy in your shoes
and dress socks, cowboy
boxers and light blue pressed
shirt, tie loosened and pointing
toward those cowboy
boxers? Why
are you twirling a lasso?<\/p>\n
And why is the heat
that I feel upon waking
not angry?<\/p>\n
I do not want to imagine
the First Lady on all fours
with your hands around her waist,
that low
part before it can be called
hip, pursuing the best
angle. Her face pushed between
pillows, she is not a part of this.
You tilt and slam
and feel like a cowboy.<\/p>\n
Is it because I
have never been good
at distinguishing
authority from sexy?<\/p>\n
I doubt that the answer lies
behind your simian smirk
or simian sentences, but
who else am I
to ask?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Mr. President, I do not appreciate your presence in my dreams. Let me not be unclear, it is one dream, recurring.
\nWhy do you stand on my childhood bed beneath the canopy in your shoes and dress socks, cowboy boxers and light blue pressed shirt, …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[269],"class_list":["post-2307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-george-w-bush","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s33KTw-w","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4274,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-son-who-needs-to-put-on-some-better-fitting-underwear\/","url_meta":{"origin":2307,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to her son who needs to put on some better-fitting underwear,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSweetie, those boxers are so tight that the flap has pulled open in desperation. Son, can\u2019t you feel that chill on your penis? It looks like someone getting ready to skydive, like any moment it\u2019s going to come tumbling out of there. See, sweetie, you\u2019ve reached the age where I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3336,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/04\/the-silent\/","url_meta":{"origin":2307,"position":1},"title":"The Silent","author":"admin","date":"April 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"If people know that you\u2019re into presidents, that it is your thing, you get to hear a lot of people tell you their favorite presidential anecdotes. One of the stories I hear most often is the one about a woman betting that she could get Calvin Coolidge to say more\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"coolidge2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/coolidge2.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/coolidge2.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/coolidge2.gif?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5003,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-gentleman-who-diagnosed-the-problem-with-my-washing-machine\/","url_meta":{"origin":2307,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the gentleman who diagnosed the problem with my washing machine,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 14, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cHi! I\u2019m glad that you were able to tell me what the problem is. Thanks for that. I guess that I also appreciate your admiration of my president Pez dispensers. I was less of a fan of the way that you walked around them so that you could fully take\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2305,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2011\/10\/a-love-letter-to-president-wilson\/","url_meta":{"origin":2307,"position":3},"title":"A Love Letter to President Wilson","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 9, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"At times you mayhave lost your cool,but with the ladies,you ran hot. Passionpouring from yourpen like lavafrom Vesuvius.I love that you chosewomen who made youbetter, and laughingeyes and zaftig. I lovethat you knew whatyou desired and that you wanted ...","rel":"","context":"In \"Woodrow Wilson\"","block_context":{"text":"Woodrow Wilson","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/woodrow-wilson\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4964,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/01\/joe-biden-big-scoop-bracket-friendship\/","url_meta":{"origin":2307,"position":4},"title":"Joe Biden Big Scoop Bracket: Friendship","author":"admin","date":"January 15, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"To talk about the friendship between Vice President Biden and President Obama isn\u2019t a new thing. I mean, if you\u2019re so inclined, you can lose your entire evening exploring the memes. I\u2019m just saying\u2026if that\u2019s the sort of thing you\u2019re susceptible to. Ahem. I don\u2019t think that many people would\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/friendship-892x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/friendship-892x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/friendship-892x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/friendship-892x1024.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4459,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/the-decision-point\/","url_meta":{"origin":2307,"position":5},"title":"The Decision Point","author":"admin","date":"March 13, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"As I\u2019ve gotten closer, and closer to the present, it has become more of a challenge to figure out how to approach these cupcakes. This is more true for the last two presidents. In the preface to the book The Faiths of the Postwar Presidents, David Holmes says, \u201cNo president\u2019s\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"wbush1","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/wbush1.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}