” I’m just saying, the best thing about you is your sculptural quality.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
” I’m just saying, the best thing about you is your sculptural quality.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[334],"class_list":["post-2408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-grooming","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-CQ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2951,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-hall-and-oates\/","url_meta":{"origin":2408,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to Hall and Oates,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 12, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThank you, thank you, thank you for being appropriate background music for working. I don\u2019t have to worry about you saying something that will embarrass all parties if someone happens to walk in. I can\u2019t tell you how much I appreciate this.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3223,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/in-a-guilt-filled-open-letter-to-her-son\/","url_meta":{"origin":2408,"position":1},"title":"In a guilt-filled open letter to her son,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou know all those words you just said? The ones to which I responded by nodding my head and saying \u2018uh-huh?\u2019 The only one of those words I understood was \u2018dinosaur.\u2019 The rest of them flowed over me like water.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2535,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-men-who-wear-pants-that-uh-accentuate-their-silhouettes\/","url_meta":{"origin":2408,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to men who wear pants that, uh, accentuate their silhouettes,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI am no junk-gazer, but some of you are wearing pants these days that make it hard to concentrate. Not in an ooh-and ah way, for the record. No, this is more in a \u2018Wait. Was that? I think that was\u2026what is going on here? kind of way.\u2019 It is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2619,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-past-or-present-neighbors-of-ronald-isley\/","url_meta":{"origin":2408,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to past or present neighbors of Ronald Isley,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 12, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI shouldn\u2019t \u00a0even be saying this, but I am dying to know what kind of noises come from this man\u2019s home when he has a little nighttime company. Forgive me. But, I bet you\u2019ve wondered, too. I bet you\u2019ve listened. I bet you can give me answers.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2650,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-john-and-abigail-adams\/","url_meta":{"origin":2408,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to John and Abigail Adams,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThank you for leaving us the spicy hot love letters that you exchanged. I believe I recall one of you saying to the other something about being attracted to each other like magnet to metal. Oh, how I wish I had penned that line. 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