“Please, please, please tell me that you’re up there rapping without any music. Otherwise, the force of your words, the sheer volume of them and the lack of pausing for taking a breath is very disturbing….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Please, please, please tell me that you’re up there rapping without any music. Otherwise, the force of your words, the sheer volume of them and the lack of pausing for taking a breath is very disturbing….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[343,344,345],"class_list":["post-2419","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-overheard","tag-rap","tag-upstairs","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-D1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2653,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-lyndon-johnson-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":2419,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to Lyndon Johnson,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI wonder how long you will have this hold on me. It\u2019s getting pretty bad. In addition to re-watching documentaries about you, I have taken to pausing them so that I can look at you in certain moments. Last night there was this picture of you when \u00a0you were young\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2447,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-whoever-wrote-hi-you-with-a-finger-in-the-dirt-on-my-car\/","url_meta":{"origin":2419,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to whoever wrote \u201chi you\u201d with a finger in the dirt on my car,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPlease, please, please tell me that you are a child, preferably someone between the ages of 7 and 11. If you are a child, you\u2019ve scored success; I\u2019m taking my car to the car wash today. If you are not a child, I find this more than a little creepy.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2402,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-bill-clinton\/","url_meta":{"origin":2419,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to Bill Clinton,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYour hair always looks so cottony and nice. You get great haircuts. The way that your hair color has evolved is picture perfect. If you\u2019re getting some new version of a blue rinse, please don\u2019t ever tell us. Please let the dream live.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2784,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-at-three-in-the-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":2419,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to herself at three in the morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWe are by no means starving. Please do not wake me up again because you say we\u2019re hungry. Can\u2019t you convert some of our excess thigh meat into energy or something?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3192,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-pastry-recipe\/","url_meta":{"origin":2419,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to a pastry recipe,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI read a lot of recipes. However, I have yet to come across a recipe that uses the words \u2018until thick and pasty,\u2019 and also succeeds in continuing to sound tasty. Please take this into consideration.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5057,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-lady-in-the-drugstore-buying-allergy-medicine-and-condoms\/","url_meta":{"origin":2419,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the lady in the drugstore buying allergy medicine and condoms,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPlease tell me these two items are not related to each other.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2419","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2419"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2419\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2419"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2419"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}