“Lady, next time you squeeze a more-than-quarter-sized dollop of hair gel into your hand, \u00a0just scrape some of it into the sink. This is especially true if you don’t even know when you last relaxed your hair. Otherwise, you will catch a glimpse of yourself in your car window and think, ‘Dang, I look like I have a Jheri curl.’ Just lookin’ out.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Lady, next time you squeeze a more-than-quarter-sized dollop of hair gel into your hand, just scrape some of it into the sink. This is especially true if you don’t even know when you last relaxed your hair. Otherwise, you will catch a glimpse of yourself in your car window and think, ‘Dang, I look like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[316,352],"class_list":["post-2426","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-failure","tag-jheri-curl","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-D8","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1558,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2012\/02\/hair-story\/","url_meta":{"origin":2426,"position":0},"title":"Hair story","author":"admin","date":"February 22, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I was the victim of a bad haircut. Not recently, but I still sting at that unfortunate event. I had decided to grow out my relaxer and went on a whim, during my lunch break to get the remainder of the relaxed hair cut off. Long story short, the person\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/IMG_0789-224x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4786,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/06\/traffic-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2426,"position":1},"title":"Traffic #2","author":"admin","date":"June 24, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Megan noticed, as all women learn to at one point or another, that it was taking all of the effort that he had to keep his eyes aimed at hers. Upon reaching his car, she had realized her power, his vulnerability. And who said she wasn\u2019t spontaneous? Gary had said\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Traffic"","block_context":{"text":"Traffic","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/writing\/traffic\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"serialnovel","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/serialnovel.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2401,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-with-the-morris-day-hair\/","url_meta":{"origin":2426,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the man with the Morris Day hair,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI couldn\u2019t help myself. Your hair caught my eye early this morning. I didn\u2019t want to be all obvious about getting a closer look. I\u2019m afraid that this made me behave in a creepy fashion, inching my car slowly forward and looking at you not by turning my head, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4636,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-older-asian-lady-with-a-perm\/","url_meta":{"origin":2426,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the older Asian lady with a perm,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 8, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI can\u2019t help that the texture created by your chemical process reminds me of Muammar Qadaffi.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4294,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-eric-holder\/","url_meta":{"origin":2426,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to Eric Holder,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI really like all of the hair that grows out of your face, especially your mustache. Your eyebrows, too, are rather appealing. It makes me want to take an Oreo cookie, twist it open and greedily eat the cream. Then I want to take the two wafers and rub them\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5186,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-senior-citizen-who-stared-directly-into-my-crotch-as-he-shopped-with-his-lady-at-costco\/","url_meta":{"origin":2426,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the senior citizen who stared directly into my crotch as he shopped with his lady at Costco,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWait, is the fountain of youth in my pants? Otherwise, I have no viable reason for that sort of penetrating look.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2426","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2426"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2426\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2426"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2426"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2426"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}