“Full disclosure: I am in a bad mood. Now, if you are going to slowly shuffle about, don’t make a point to walk in front of moving vehicles. If you’re going to do this while wearing pantyshorts, please expect to be talked about. Case in point: I’m pretty sure that those shorts were tight enough to chafe your vulva. You are now party talk. Ciao!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Full disclosure: I am in a bad mood. Now, if you are going to slowly shuffle about, don’t make a point to walk in front of moving vehicles. If you’re going to do this while wearing pantyshorts, please expect to be talked about. Case in point: I’m pretty sure that those shorts were tight enough […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[365,366,367,368,369],"class_list":["post-2441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-chafing","tag-exposure","tag-fashion","tag-packed-in-like-vienna-sausage","tag-spam","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Dn","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4769,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/06\/so-i-think-someone-tried-to-buy-sex-from-me-this-afternoon\/","url_meta":{"origin":2441,"position":0},"title":"So, I think someone tried to buy sex from me this afternoon","author":"admin","date":"June 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"It has been a while since I have felt genuine fear when approached by a man, and I don\u2019t miss that feeling at all. This story starts weeks ago. I was on a lunch break walking to a nearby restaurant, when I took an alternate route in order to avoid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "stranger than fiction"","block_context":{"text":"stranger than fiction","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/stranger-than-fiction\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3698,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-tall-girl-wearing-very-short-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":2441,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the tall girl wearing very short shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt was difficult not to look at your crotch because I wondered whether your shorts were successfully covering your lady bits. I also wondered whether those shorts hurt. But that\u2019s none of my business\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2494,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-another-girl-wearing-microscopic-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":2441,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to another girl wearing microscopic shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou definitely have the body for short shorts. I\u2019ll give you that. But, honey, your butt is so flat that at first I couldn\u2019t tell I was looking at a butt cheek. I thought I was looking at a wrinkle. Another inch on those shorts and your business wouldn\u2019t be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3977,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-girl-in-the-thigh-highs-who-i-think-was-also-wearing-short-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":2441,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the girl in the thigh highs who I think was also wearing short shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 31, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI didn\u2019t actually see any shorts, so I\u2019m being presumptuous here. I, however, am not being presumptuous when I\u2019m guessing that you were cold, very cold. But, it\u2019s your thing; do what you wanna do\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5126,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-my-dear-friend-who-is-in-a-bad-mood\/","url_meta":{"origin":2441,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to my dear friend who is in a bad mood,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPlease know that if I could take your bad mood and babysit until it decided to act right again, that I would happily do that for you. But, alas, I can\u2019t. Instead, I hope that the idea of a bad mood being like a naughty puppy cheers you up just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5353,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2020\/08\/goings-on\/","url_meta":{"origin":2441,"position":5},"title":"Goings on","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 1, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I bought so many peaches. I'm talking 50 lbs of peaches. I've spent a lot of time in my kitchen with peaches. Cause, you know, I guess I need another project because a job that keeps me busy an infant and a teenager just aren't enough of a challenge? I\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/IMG_3050-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2441"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2441\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}