“I feel like you pay me back for the mean things that I sometimes think. You smacked me down today. However, I also feel like you look out for me. For example, just this week, you put that bottle of Maker’s Mark that I had forgotten about in my eyesight. Now, on the other side of the blows dealt me today, I know where to turn. I think we’re even. Thanks.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I feel like you pay me back for the mean things that I sometimes think. You smacked me down today. However, I also feel like you look out for me. For example, just this week, you put that bottle of Maker’s Mark that I had forgotten about in my eyesight. Now, on the other side […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[370,371,372,373,374],"class_list":["post-2442","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-anger","tag-dranks","tag-life","tag-makers-mark","tag-wasted-time","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Do","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4327,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-man-to-whom-i-lied\/","url_meta":{"origin":2442,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to a man to whom I lied,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI don\u2019t mean to be a liar, I was just put on the spot. I was trying to politely communicate that I\u2019m not interested in any, um, extracurricular activities. That\u2019s why when you asked me whether I hang out, I said, \u2018No.\u2019 I mean, what else was there to say?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "drinks"","block_context":{"text":"drinks","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/drinks\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3954,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/holiday-beer-bottling-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":2442,"position":1},"title":"Holiday Beer: Bottling Day","author":"admin","date":"November 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\"I want a beer that makes me hear Sleigh Ride when you crack it open.\" That's what I said when the boyfriend was looking for suggestions for the next beer he was going to make. I wasn't sure whether he'd take the suggestion, he likes to read Zymurgy and other\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "beer"","block_context":{"text":"beer","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/beer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4321,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-john-boehner\/","url_meta":{"origin":2442,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to John Boehner,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI mean this in the least erotic way possible, but sometimes I wonder what your face skin feels like beneath tentative fingertips. Then I want to eat some circus peanuts. 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I know that at the end of the year, I'll be glad that I did\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/one-eye-open.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4303,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-busty-woman-considering-taking-the-trash-out-to-the-dumpster-without-putting-on-a-bra-first\/","url_meta":{"origin":2442,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to a busty woman considering taking the trash out to the dumpster without putting on a bra first,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cJust put on the bra. Otherwise you will wonder whether your neighbors see you. You will also wonder if the movement of your unfettered breasts reminds them of a waterbed. Or just put on a heavy coat. I mean, uh, this is what my imagination says\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4320,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-is-saving-a-seat-whoops-i-mean-two-seats-in-the-restaurant\/","url_meta":{"origin":2442,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who is saving a seat, whoops, I mean two seats in the restaurant,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou don\u2019t get to keep looking at me when your seat saving means that my son and I are standing. Well, not without me thinking disparaging thoughts about your appearance. I, however, do get to keep looking at you and the two empty seats next to you. 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