“I regret to inform you that I can no longer listen to you at work. You see, there is something about this music that makes my hips move involuntarily. This is inappropriate at best and probably most likely creepy\/downright gross. Additionally, this music both makes me mouth lyrics (not a good look) and make weird sassy faces (extra creepy\/super gross). Let’s end this now before anything bad happens. I will, however, continue to blast you in \u00a0the car. Besos!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I regret to inform you that I can no longer listen to you at work. You see, there is something about this music that makes my hips move involuntarily. This is inappropriate at best and probably most likely creepy\/downright gross. Additionally, this music both makes me mouth lyrics (not a good look) and make weird […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[375,376,377,189,378,379],"class_list":["post-2443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-daddy-yankee","tag-hips","tag-inappropriate","tag-music","tag-reggaeton","tag-rhythms","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Dp","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2841,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-lyricists-of-very-explicit-songs\/","url_meta":{"origin":2443,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the lyricists of very explicit songs,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI know that everything isn\u2019t for everybody, but I just have to say that I prefer euphemisms in my music to gritty and sometimes gross realism.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2438,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-lyndon-johnson\/","url_meta":{"origin":2443,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to Lyndon Johnson,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI understand that this is probably an inappropriate thing to say to the deceased, but I can totally imagine someone grabbing those \u00a0large ears of yours, whispering into one of them, \u2018Big Texas.\u2019 What have you done to me?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2658,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-sweet-sweet-son\/","url_meta":{"origin":2443,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to her sweet, sweet son.","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSweetie, I appreciate your compliments. I love them. They make me feel warm, and like I am, indeed, providing you a decent childhood. However, sometimes your compliments sound a little bit creepy\u2026like this morning when you practically growled at me, \u201cWell\u2026does somebody look pretty this morning.\u201d Your hand was on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2659,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-sweet-sweet-son-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2443,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to her sweet, sweet son.","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSweetie, I appreciate your compliments. I love them. They make me feel warm, and like I am, indeed, providing you a decent childhood. However, sometimes your compliments sound a little bit creepy\u2026like this morning when you practically growled at me, \u201cWell\u2026does somebody look pretty this morning.\u201d Your hand was on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3061,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-dream-involving-a-gross-bathroom\/","url_meta":{"origin":2443,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to a dream involving a gross bathroom,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 12, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou woke me up. I never again want to see a scene where the toilets are trashcans, there is wetness all over the floors, and the stalls are partitioned by well-worn shower curtains. Also, I don\u2019t want to see a hair salon situation in such a setting. Finally, since I\u2019m\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"dreams\"","block_context":{"text":"dreams","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/dreams\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2292,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-piece-of-king-cake-that-made-me-want\/","url_meta":{"origin":2443,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to a piece of king cake that made me want,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI probably shouldn\u2019t be telling you this, but as soon as I took that bread knife in hand, I knew that my basest desires would be unleashed. I have never felt this way about a piece of food before, but you made a million Prince songs go through my head,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"cake\"","block_context":{"text":"cake","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/cake\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2443","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2443"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2443\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}