“Girl, \u00a0I understand. No one wants to step over a well-fed raccoon. However, walking so far into the street that you were straddling the lane marker was overkill. Especially on a road with a speed limit of 45. You are begging to meet the same fate….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Girl, I understand. No one wants to step over a well-fed raccoon. However, walking so far into the street that you were straddling the lane marker was overkill. Especially on a road with a speed limit of 45. You are begging to meet the same fate….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[399,400],"class_list":["post-2483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-raccoons","tag-roadkill","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-E3","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3672,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/mason-jar-cozies\/","url_meta":{"origin":2483,"position":0},"title":"Mason Jar Cozies","author":"admin","date":"September 22, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I've been using canning jars as serving, storage, an carrying vessels for a \u00a0while now. Not so much of a while that I was before the curve or anything, but time enough. \u00a0Time enough that I've been meaning to make a few cozies for a long time. I love that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "sewing"","block_context":{"text":"sewing","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/sewing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/cozy2.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5066,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-walking-across-campus-with-a-confident-strut-and-the-comfortable-looking-pants\/","url_meta":{"origin":2483,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman walking across campus with a confident strut and the comfortable looking pants,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cBravo. You look like you know how to live. Those pants looked so comfortable, yet stylish. I wonder if that\u2019s the secret to the bright bounce in your step. Your panties, however, did not look so comfortable. I wonder if that\u2019s the secret to the bright bounce in your step.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2789,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-khaki-colored-man-she-saw-walking-down-the-street\/","url_meta":{"origin":2483,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the khaki-colored man she saw walking down the street,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cExcuse me for thinking that you were walking down the street wearing a home-fashioned red and blue striped loin cloth. \u00a0I now know that it was your shirt tucked into the front of your pants. Turns out that just a few weeks ago, I saw a man walking down the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2377,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-four-legs-i-saw-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":2483,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the four legs I saw this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYoung ladies, if you are going to wear panty-length shorts before us Michiganders are accustomed to seasonal nudity, I suggest you stick to sidewalks instead of walking precariously on the edge of the road. Be safe!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"legs\"","block_context":{"text":"legs","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/legs\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3094,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-an-open-letter-to-herself\/","url_meta":{"origin":2483,"position":4},"title":"In an open an open letter to herself,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf you do not go to the gym for a long time, but then go spend 40 minutes on a treadmill constantly playing with the incline and the speed, and then follow that with squats and ab exercises that you used to do but don\u2019 t do anymore, things will\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5148,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-asked-me-whether-my-son-was-my-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":2483,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the man who asked me whether my son was my boyfriend,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 3, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cBasically everything that you said, sir, were inside thoughts that you let out. Especially the part where I informed you that the young man was my son and you responded with, \u2018I was thinking he got himself a good looking girl\u2026.\u201d\u00a0","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2483","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2483"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2483\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}