{"id":2484,"date":"2013-05-06T20:42:32","date_gmt":"2013-05-07T01:42:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=1549"},"modified":"2013-05-06T20:42:32","modified_gmt":"2013-05-07T01:42:32","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-her-neighbor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-neighbor\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to her neighbor,"},"content":{"rendered":"

“I am a sound sleeper. When other people complain about thunder and lightning through the night, I’m all like ‘It rained? Huh. I thought it smelled rather verdant around here.’ So, for you to wake me from a sound sleep means that you were making some serious noise. Such, ahem, activities should never make that much noise. Go ahead, call me a prude. I thought you and your lady friend were about to fall through the floor and into my bed. And I know that my bed wouldn’t stand up to whatever it was that was going on. Just what\u00a0were<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>you doing? Wait, don’t answer that….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“I am a sound sleeper. When other people complain about thunder and lightning through the night, I’m all like ‘It rained? Huh. I thought it smelled rather verdant around here.’ So, for you to wake me from a sound sleep means that you were making some serious noise. Such, ahem, activities should never make that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[401,402,403,404],"class_list":["post-2484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-animal-control","tag-mating-rituals","tag-neighbor","tag-noises","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-E4","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5316,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2019\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-new-baby\/","url_meta":{"origin":2484,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to new baby,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 9, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThanks for letting me sleep all night without having to get up to visit the bathroom. What a birthday treat! That very strong wallop you delivered as soon as I did wake up made it feel extra thoughtful.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4039,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-neighbor-vacuuming-near-my-bedtime\/","url_meta":{"origin":2484,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to a neighbor vacuuming near my bedtime,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou thought this was going to be a nasty one, didn\u2019t you. Actually, your vacuuming was liberating. Now, I\u2019ll never again feel guilty when I hit the snooze button at 5:30 in the morning. We\u2019re on different schedules and your bedtime vacuuming has illuminated that for me. Thanks!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2784,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-at-three-in-the-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":2484,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to herself at three in the morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWe are by no means starving. Please do not wake me up again because you say we\u2019re hungry. Can\u2019t you convert some of our excess thigh meat into energy or something?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2785,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-at-three-in-the-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":2484,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to herself at three in the morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWe are by no means starving. Please do not wake me up again because you say we\u2019re hungry. Can\u2019t you convert some of our excess thigh meat into energy or something?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3064,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-songs-that-are-supposedly-sexy\/","url_meta":{"origin":2484,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to songs that are supposedly sexy,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSo many of you sound more like threats than anything else. Thought you should know.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"fright\"","block_context":{"text":"fright","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/fright\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3223,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/in-a-guilt-filled-open-letter-to-her-son\/","url_meta":{"origin":2484,"position":5},"title":"In a guilt-filled open letter to her son,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou know all those words you just said? The ones to which I responded by nodding my head and saying \u2018uh-huh?\u2019 The only one of those words I understood was \u2018dinosaur.\u2019 The rest of them flowed over me like water.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2484","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2484"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2484\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}