“I need you to know that dancing and cardancing are two distinct activities. There’s something about the enclosed space of my car that tells my elbows that it is time to party up. They listen. I let them go. There is no rhythm in my car just movement, and freedom and Phil Collins.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I need you to know that dancing and cardancing are two distinct activities. There’s something about the enclosed space of my car that tells my elbows that it is time to party up. They listen. I let them go. There is no rhythm in my car just movement, and freedom and Phil Collins.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[422,423,424],"class_list":["post-2536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-elbows","tag-phil-collins","tag-spastic","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-EU","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3624,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-phil-collins\/","url_meta":{"origin":2536,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to Phil Collins,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYour music makes my heart swell with so many feelings. You, sir, transport me back to the longing of the adolescent years. Not the curiosity, that belongs to Prince, but the longing; you are the soundtrack to that awakening\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3620,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-loud-world-traveler\/","url_meta":{"origin":2536,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the loud world traveler,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cHey, I know this could be called eavesdropping. But I have to tell you, I never, ever would have noticed how pale and soft you were if you weren\u2019t talking so loudly and with so much disdain and criticism of others for an extended period of time\u2026. Oh! Are you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2443,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-daddy-yankee-pandora-station\/","url_meta":{"origin":2536,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to her Daddy Yankee Pandora station,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI regret to inform you that I can no longer listen to you at work. You see, there is something about this music that makes my hips move involuntarily. This is inappropriate at best and probably most likely creepy\/downright gross. Additionally, this music both makes me mouth lyrics (not a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3769,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-son-who-left-his-completed-homework-in-the-car\/","url_meta":{"origin":2536,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to her son who left his completed homework in the car,","author":"admin","date":"October 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\"It pained me to see your typed poems left in the passenger area of the car. My instinct was to get this to you somehow, however, it is your job both to complete the homework and to submit the homework. I did my part by asking you about it. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"disappointment\"","block_context":{"text":"disappointment","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/disappointment\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3362,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-regarding-the-sports-bra-moving-vehicle-incident\/","url_meta":{"origin":2536,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to herself regarding the sports bra-moving vehicle incident,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 28, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cListen, I know you\u2019re trying to squeeze it all in, but trying to change your clothes as you drove from picking up your son to your exercise was a bad move. You deserved to be tangled and exposed at the wheel. But, I do have to say that your resolve\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2447,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-whoever-wrote-hi-you-with-a-finger-in-the-dirt-on-my-car\/","url_meta":{"origin":2536,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to whoever wrote \u201chi you\u201d with a finger in the dirt on my car,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPlease, please, please tell me that you are a child, preferably someone between the ages of 7 and 11. If you are a child, you\u2019ve scored success; I\u2019m taking my car to the car wash today. If you are not a child, I find this more than a little creepy.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2536"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2536\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}