“Sir, it was the exposed buttock region that first got my attention. Then, however, I noticed that the crackside shadows made it look like you were wearing thong panties. So, of course, I had to get a closer look. I didn’t see any underwear at all. This is, of course, your choice, but I’ll have you know that you are a menace to motorists everywhere….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Sir, it was the exposed buttock region that first got my attention. Then, however, I noticed that the crackside shadows made it look like you were wearing thong panties. So, of course, I had to get a closer look. I didn’t see any underwear at all. This is, of course, your choice, but I’ll have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[425,426,427],"class_list":["post-2537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-bike-riding","tag-butt-cracks","tag-thong","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-EV","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3880,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-thick-thighed-woman-wearing-the-sheerish-gray-animal-print-leggings\/","url_meta":{"origin":2537,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the thick-thighed woman wearing the sheerish gray animal print leggings,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have some questions for you. But, the one that stands out to me above all others is whether your red panties were uncomfortable. You see, they left approximately two and a half inches of your upper butt uncovered. You may have some questions for me, based on my penetrating\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3339,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-dad-who-wasnt-watching-his-kids-very-well-in-the-restaurant\/","url_meta":{"origin":2537,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the dad who wasn\u2019t watching his kids very well in the restaurant,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf you would have been paying closer attention, you would have seen your son digging deep between his flip-flopped toes. Wait\u2026now I understand\u2026you didn\u2019t want to see that. You, sir, are a pro\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2585,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-term-depanty\/","url_meta":{"origin":2537,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the term \u201cdepanty,\u201d","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI want so badly for you to be a word. Of course you would mean to remove the panties of, but you would be a word that is only used in certain applications. Depanty is not a word for lovers. Depanty is something that goes with too hot clothing on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3412,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-wearing-the-short-sleeved-sweater\/","url_meta":{"origin":2537,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the woman wearing the short-sleeved sweater,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt was probably about 6 weeks ago when I saw you. I don\u2019t know whether I was hypnotized, mesmerized, or generally confused. Short sleeved sweaters always confuse me. Yours threw in an additional twist because of the mohair-like texture. When I took a closer look, I saw that your sweater\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4392,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-wearing-very-thin-very-tight-khakis-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":2537,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the woman wearing very thin, very tight khakis this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cOne glance and my mind went crazy. It looked like your underwear was pressing equally hard into your flesh as it was into the thin pants you wore. But it is the thought of the sweet, sweet relief that you must feel when you take those things off that captivated\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2531,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-word-panties\/","url_meta":{"origin":2537,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the word panties,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI totally think that you are treated unfairly. I actually like you. Part of this might be because I really, really like panties. Also, you\u2019re just so cute. You sound like pants\u2019 baby brother, or niece. Finally, I like you the way that you are written, that \u2018t\u2019 right there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2537","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2537"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2537\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2537"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2537"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2537"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}