“Thank you. Apparently free form is your thing! More power to you. But I am thanking you because you remind me that these days I like to keep my girls on a short leash. In fact, after what I saw today, I’m thinking of adding tape to my regimen.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Thank you. Apparently free form is your thing! More power to you. But I am thanking you because you remind me that these days I like to keep my girls on a short leash. In fact, after what I saw today, I’m thinking of adding tape to my regimen.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[440,441,442,443,444,446],"class_list":["post-2549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-braless","tag-lawless","tag-tape","tag-tools","tag-wandering","tag-wayward","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-F7","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2550,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-wayward-breasts-i-saw-today-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the wayward breasts I saw today,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 16, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThank you. Apparently free form is your thing! More power to you. But I am thanking you because you remind me that these days I like to keep my girls on a short leash. In fact, after what I saw today, I\u2019m thinking of adding tape to my regimen.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2585,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-term-depanty\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the term \u201cdepanty,\u201d","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI want so badly for you to be a word. Of course you would mean to remove the panties of, but you would be a word that is only used in certain applications. Depanty is not a word for lovers. 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Doesn\u2019t that mean anything to you?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2969,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-wore-shorts-if-im-being-generous-underwear-if-im-being-true-to-my-heart\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the man who wore shorts if I\u2019m being generous, underwear if I\u2019m being true to my heart,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have been working on being judgy. It\u2019s a nasty habit of mine. When I saw you though, all sorts of alarms went off in my head. Especially after I saw you both in the Halloween store and in the craft store. My mama gut told me to keep my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"junk\"","block_context":{"text":"junk","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/junk\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3643,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-police-officers-i-saw-just-as-i-drove-from-new-jersey-to-new-york\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the police officers I saw just as I drove from New Jersey to New York,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYour uniforms! You need to let the other people know where you ordered your pants. I saw a number of officers handling something or other and each of them looked good in those pants. Really good. I\u2019m still thinking about it three weeks later good. Nice work.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2789,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-khaki-colored-man-she-saw-walking-down-the-street\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the khaki-colored man she saw walking down the street,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cExcuse me for thinking that you were walking down the street wearing a home-fashioned red and blue striped loin cloth. \u00a0I now know that it was your shirt tucked into the front of your pants. 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