“Thank you. Apparently free form is your thing! More power to you. But I am thanking you because you remind me that these days I like to keep my girls on a short leash. In fact, after what I saw today, I’m thinking of adding tape to my regimen.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Thank you. Apparently free form is your thing! More power to you. But I am thanking you because you remind me that these days I like to keep my girls on a short leash. In fact, after what I saw today, I’m thinking of adding tape to my regimen.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[440,441,442,443,444,446],"class_list":["post-2549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-braless","tag-lawless","tag-tape","tag-tools","tag-wandering","tag-wayward","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-F7","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2550,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-wayward-breasts-i-saw-today-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the wayward breasts I saw today,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 16, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThank you. Apparently free form is your thing! More power to you. But I am thanking you because you remind me that these days I like to keep my girls on a short leash. In fact, after what I saw today, I\u2019m thinking of adding tape to my regimen.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2585,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-term-depanty\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the term \u201cdepanty,\u201d","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI want so badly for you to be a word. Of course you would mean to remove the panties of, but you would be a word that is only used in certain applications. Depanty is not a word for lovers. Depanty is something that goes with too hot clothing on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4388,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-body-that-ive-apparently-angered\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the body that I\u2019ve apparently angered,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 25, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019m thinking that feeling decidedly worse after a couple of days of moderate cold sensations isn\u2019t a good thing. What about that afternoon in bed? Doesn\u2019t that mean anything to you?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4711,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-internet-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the Internet,","author":"admin","date":"March 10, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\"'Hulk Hogan sex tape' is a string of words I had never wanted to see together.\"","rel":"","context":"In \"Hulk Hogan\"","block_context":{"text":"Hulk Hogan","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/hulk-hogan\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3402,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/the-first-blogs-i-ever-read\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":4},"title":"The first blogs I ever read","author":"admin","date":"November 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Thinking about what I like to look at on the internet is one of the things that makes me feel like, \"Dearie, time flies. You better put yours to good use.\" That feeling, by the way, comes with the voice that I imagine I'll have if I have the good\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "links!"","block_context":{"text":"links!","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/links\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3643,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-police-officers-i-saw-just-as-i-drove-from-new-jersey-to-new-york\/","url_meta":{"origin":2549,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the police officers I saw just as I drove from New Jersey to New York,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYour uniforms! You need to let the other people know where you ordered your pants. I saw a number of officers handling something or other and each of them looked good in those pants. Really good. I\u2019m still thinking about it three weeks later good. 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