{"id":2597,"date":"2013-06-02T17:03:32","date_gmt":"2013-06-02T22:03:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=1660"},"modified":"2013-06-02T17:03:32","modified_gmt":"2013-06-02T22:03:32","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-the-laundry-gods","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-laundry-gods\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to the laundry gods,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I am a single parent with one child. Why is it that laundry seems so dang sisyphean? Do you hate breeders? Do you hate children?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&ldquo;I am a single parent with one child. Why is it that laundry seems so dang sisyphean? Do you hate breeders? Do you hate children?&rdquo;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[489,490,491],"class_list":["post-2597","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-cleanliness","tag-godliness","tag-haters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-FT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2630,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-air-conditioning\/","url_meta":{"origin":2597,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to air conditioning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 16, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWhy do you hate me. I live for the summer. But because of you, I spend a good portion of the summer freezing, and wanting hot tea. This is not what I want. I want a sweaty-dew complexion, and a bit of sweat on my shirt. Allow me this pleasure?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3293,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-innocent-man-standing-in-front-of-me-in-line\/","url_meta":{"origin":2597,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the innocent man standing in front of me in line,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI hate it when people stand too close to me in line, but for some reason I am stricken by the desire to be predator, not prey. I want to stand so close that your hind quarters feel unprotected and vulnerable. But I won\u2019t, because that\u2019s creepy\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"impulse control\"","block_context":{"text":"impulse control","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/impulse-control\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4324,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-wretch-that-is-today\/","url_meta":{"origin":2597,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the wretch that is today,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI hate you. If there were a slur that could be applied to bad days, I would probably not use it, but I would be tempted to. If I were a smoker, I would have lit up two cigarettes and smoked them both, first the right hand cigarette, then the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2658,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-sweet-sweet-son\/","url_meta":{"origin":2597,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to her sweet, sweet son.","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSweetie, I appreciate your compliments. I love them. They make me feel warm, and like I am, indeed, providing you a decent childhood. However, sometimes your compliments sound a little bit creepy\u2026like this morning when you practically growled at me, \u201cWell\u2026does somebody look pretty this morning.\u201d Your hand was on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3991,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-parent-who-impatiently-blew-her-horn-at-me-when-my-son-was-kissing-me-goodbye\/","url_meta":{"origin":2597,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the parent who impatiently blew her horn at me when my son was kissing me goodbye,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMy immediate thought was that you were jealous because your child doesn\u2019t kiss you every morning. Then I just thought you were selfish because you wanted to get out so quickly and wanted me to move even though there was plenty of space for you to back up and then\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;parenthood&quot;","block_context":{"text":"parenthood","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/parenthood\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2345,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-son-3\/","url_meta":{"origin":2597,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to her son,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI swear you\u2019re going to thank me one day for this. I make sure that you do things around the house because I don\u2019t want to be responsible for turning a young man who is unable to take care of his basic needs loose in the world. 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