“We’ve had some good times together. You, sweet jeans, have given me the kind generosity a girl like me needs in the thigh region. Alas, the thighs have taken their toll, and you are now sporting a hole in the upper inner thigh region. It is best for your reputation and for mine for you to be retired now. I appreciate everything that you have done for me, and my thighs, and my butt, and my ankles. You were long enough for me. I’ll miss you…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“We’ve had some good times together. You, sweet jeans, have given me the kind generosity a girl like me needs in the thigh region. Alas, the thighs have taken their toll, and you are now sporting a hole in the upper inner thigh region. It is best for your reputation and for mine for you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[548,549,550,551,552,553],"class_list":["post-2649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-butt","tag-friction","tag-hole","tag-jeans","tag-modesty","tag-thighs","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-GJ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":439,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2010\/03\/if-running-doesnt-make-you-a-runner-what-does\/","url_meta":{"origin":2649,"position":0},"title":"If running doesn’t make you a runner, what does?","author":"admin","date":"March 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometime after I had run the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon, I made reference to \"real runners,\" which did not include myself. One of the people with whom I was talking stopped, looked at me, and said, \"You just ran a half marathon. What do you mean real runners?\" I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"exercise\"","block_context":{"text":"exercise","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/exercise\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/base_media.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5480,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2021\/08\/in-an-open-to-the-very-bold-mystery-bruise-on-my-upper-thigh\/","url_meta":{"origin":2649,"position":1},"title":"In an open to the very bold mystery bruise on my upper thigh,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 8, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI don\u2019t even know what caused you, but I don\u2019t like the way that you make my life look a little more adventurous than it really is.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3977,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-girl-in-the-thigh-highs-who-i-think-was-also-wearing-short-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":2649,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the girl in the thigh highs who I think was also wearing short shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 31, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI didn\u2019t actually see any shorts, so I\u2019m being presumptuous here. I, however, am not being presumptuous when I\u2019m guessing that you were cold, very cold. But, it\u2019s your thing; do what you wanna do\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2537,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-bicyclist-who-rode-while-exposing-a-good-three-inches-of-rear-end\/","url_meta":{"origin":2649,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the bicyclist who rode while exposing a good three inches of rear end,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir, it was the exposed buttock region that first got my attention. Then, however, I noticed that the crackside shadows made it look like you were wearing thong panties. So, of course, I had to get a closer look. I didn\u2019t see any underwear at all. This is, of course,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4850,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-coat-less-woman-who-whizzed-by-me-on-a-scooter-on-a-cold-cold-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":2649,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the coat-less woman who whizzed by me on a scooter on a cold, cold day,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 19, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThis seemed like a fashion choice. I\u2019m wondering, though if that 3 inches of exposed upper butt was also a fashion choice. My real question, though, is wasn\u2019t that cold? You had both low temperatures and the wind you created going at that bare skin.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2494,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-another-girl-wearing-microscopic-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":2649,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to another girl wearing microscopic shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou definitely have the body for short shorts. I\u2019ll give you that. But, honey, your butt is so flat that at first I couldn\u2019t tell I was looking at a butt cheek. I thought I was looking at a wrinkle. Another inch on those shorts and your business wouldn\u2019t be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2649","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2649"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2649\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2649"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2649"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2649"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}