“Sweetie, I appreciate your compliments. I love them. They make me feel warm, and like I am, indeed, providing you a decent childhood. However, sometimes your compliments sound a little bit creepy…like this morning when you practically growled at me, “Well…does somebody look pretty this morning.” Your hand was on your hip and you were leaned in a way that I associate with men from whom I run and hide, spending time in the ladies room. Sweetie, you know how much I hate the ladies room. It is my love for you that makes me determined to fix this….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Sweetie, I appreciate your compliments. I love them. They make me feel warm, and like I am, indeed, providing you a decent childhood. However, sometimes your compliments sound a little bit creepy…like this morning when you practically growled at me, “Well…does somebody look pretty this morning.” Your hand was on your hip and you were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[559,560,561,563,565],"class_list":["post-2658","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-keeping-the-children-uncreepy","tag-kids","tag-ladies-man","tag-mothers-and-sons","tag-young-men","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-GS","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2659,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-sweet-sweet-son-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2658,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to her sweet, sweet son.","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSweetie, I appreciate your compliments. I love them. They make me feel warm, and like I am, indeed, providing you a decent childhood. However, sometimes your compliments sound a little bit creepy\u2026like this morning when you practically growled at me, \u201cWell\u2026does somebody look pretty this morning.\u201d Your hand was on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4274,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-son-who-needs-to-put-on-some-better-fitting-underwear\/","url_meta":{"origin":2658,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to her son who needs to put on some better-fitting underwear,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSweetie, those boxers are so tight that the flap has pulled open in desperation. Son, can\u2019t you feel that chill on your penis? It looks like someone getting ready to skydive, like any moment it\u2019s going to come tumbling out of there. See, sweetie, you\u2019ve reached the age where I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3290,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-old-over-tanned-ladies-discussing-men-in-speedos\/","url_meta":{"origin":2658,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the old over-tanned ladies discussing men in Speedos,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt was the word Speedo that got my attention. However, it was the phrase \u2018balls just a hangin\u2019 that made me put my book down do that I could laugh fully and completely.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2377,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-four-legs-i-saw-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":2658,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the four legs I saw this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYoung ladies, if you are going to wear panty-length shorts before us Michiganders are accustomed to seasonal nudity, I suggest you stick to sidewalks instead of walking precariously on the edge of the road. Be safe!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"legs\"","block_context":{"text":"legs","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/legs\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2401,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-with-the-morris-day-hair\/","url_meta":{"origin":2658,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the man with the Morris Day hair,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI couldn\u2019t help myself. Your hair caught my eye early this morning. I didn\u2019t want to be all obvious about getting a closer look. I\u2019m afraid that this made me behave in a creepy fashion, inching my car slowly forward and looking at you not by turning my head, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4392,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-wearing-very-thin-very-tight-khakis-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":2658,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the woman wearing very thin, very tight khakis this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cOne glance and my mind went crazy. It looked like your underwear was pressing equally hard into your flesh as it was into the thin pants you wore. But it is the thought of the sweet, sweet relief that you must feel when you take those things off that captivated\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2658"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2658\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}