“Why do you do this to me, fill me up with thoughts that are too strange to ever utter aloud? Why do you get started so early? At least this morning I was in the shower where I could metaphorically cleanse myself while I actually cleansed myself. Give a gal a break, would you?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Why do you do this to me, fill me up with thoughts that are too strange to ever utter aloud? Why do you get started so early? At least this morning I was in the shower where I could metaphorically cleanse myself while I actually cleansed myself. Give a gal a break, would you?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[331],"tags":[591,592,593],"class_list":["post-2723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-open-letters","tag-cleansing","tag-disturbing","tag-gross","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-HV","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3091,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/the-kind-of-gal-who-likes-to-click-around-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2723,"position":0},"title":"The kind of gal who likes to click around","author":"admin","date":"December 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I love the idea of headbands more than I actually wear them. That explains why I was immediately attracted to this headband pattern. I may have let out some strange, inappropriate-for-public-consumption noise when I saw a picture of these candied kumquats. Must make those this year!! The feeling that I\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"linklove","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/linklove.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3076,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/the-kind-of-gal-who-likes-to-click-around\/","url_meta":{"origin":2723,"position":1},"title":"The kind of gal who likes to click around","author":"admin","date":"December 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I love cranberry sauce. It takes a lot of self control not to grab a bag of cranberries each and eery time I see them at the store. I want to excuse myself because they're seasonal, fresh cranberries are. Now, though, I might have a better excuse, these\u00a0Cranberry Orange Pop\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "links!"","block_context":{"text":"links!","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/links\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/linklove.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3545,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/08\/family-roadtrip-audiobooks\/","url_meta":{"origin":2723,"position":2},"title":"Family Roadtrip: Audiobooks","author":"admin","date":"August 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Audiobooks have been a part of my life for many years now. I'm not one of those people who loved hearing teachers read from books in classrooms. That just wasn't my thing. In that context, my mind wandered and I would find myself doing things like picking at the carpet.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/inkheart-review.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4506,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-anyone-who-saw-me-in-qdoba-earlier-this-week-arching-my-back-in-a-strange-fashion\/","url_meta":{"origin":2723,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to anyone who saw me in Qdoba earlier this week arching my back in a strange fashion,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI know that I am responsible for my own actions, but it was the guy in the Qdoba who was hunched over his food with great commitment that made me contort myself. His daring curvature made me wonder if my body was capable of that range of vertebrate motion. Alas,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2401,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-with-the-morris-day-hair\/","url_meta":{"origin":2723,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the man with the Morris Day hair,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI couldn\u2019t help myself. Your hair caught my eye early this morning. I didn\u2019t want to be all obvious about getting a closer look. I\u2019m afraid that this made me behave in a creepy fashion, inching my car slowly forward and looking at you not by turning my head, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2230,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/01\/nothing-says-winter-like-pineapple-popsicles\/","url_meta":{"origin":2723,"position":5},"title":"Nothing says winter like pineapple popsicles","author":"admin","date":"January 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Alex has always loved popsicles. It was one of his early words. In fact, I don't think that he has ever turned one down. 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