{"id":2924,"date":"2013-09-27T19:13:58","date_gmt":"2013-09-28T00:13:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=1789"},"modified":"2013-09-27T19:13:58","modified_gmt":"2013-09-28T00:13:58","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-salt-n-pepa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-salt-n-pepa\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to Salt N Pepa,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I know this is the last thing that you want to hear, but this is something that plagues me. You know that part in &#8216;None of Your Business&#8217; when you sing, &#8216;&#8230;and you shouldn&#8217;t even get into who I&#8217;m givin&#8217; skins to?&#8221; You know what I see in my mind each and every time I hear that lyric? A big greasy bag of pork cracklin&#8217;s.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I know this is the last thing that you want to hear, but this is something that plagues me. You know that part in &#8216;None of Your Business&#8217; when you sing, &#8216;&#8230;and you shouldn&#8217;t even get into who I&#8217;m givin&#8217; skins to?&#8221; You know what I see in my mind each and every time I [&#8230;] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[627,764],"class_list":["post-2924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-lyrics","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-La","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":42,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2008\/11\/unnerved\/","url_meta":{"origin":2924,"position":0},"title":"Unnerved","author":"admin","date":"November 12, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I realized today that for the last, say, three years that the ibuprofen that I keep kept in my desk at work has been expired. Unnerving. I find that every time I hear a reference to \"tapping the TARP\" on the radio, it seems semi-sexual to me. I imagine it\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/11\/100_0572-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3008,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-staff-person-who-seemed-to-be-on-duty-near-the-deli\/","url_meta":{"origin":2924,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the staff person who seemed to be on duty near the deli,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSo, maybe you were on a break. I don\u2019t know. But that\u2019s none of my business. The part that is my business is that you sauntered over to the other side of the counter and took a few samples\u2026with your gloves on. That\u2019s where my objection comes in. If you\u2019re\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3698,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-tall-girl-wearing-very-short-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":2924,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the tall girl wearing very short shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt was difficult not to look at your crotch because I wondered whether your shorts were successfully covering your lady bits. I also wondered whether those shorts hurt. But that\u2019s none of my business\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3028,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/whos-your-founding-father\/","url_meta":{"origin":2924,"position":3},"title":"Who&#8217;s your founding father?","author":"admin","date":"December 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I really don't believe that the Honda commercial that came out last year around Presidents Day persuaded me to buy a Honda. However, sometimes when I approach my car, I hear that commercial in my mind, even though I think George Washington would disapprove of it. I think that Lincoln,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"bag\"","block_context":{"text":"bag","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/bag\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/presidentbag.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3336,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/04\/the-silent\/","url_meta":{"origin":2924,"position":4},"title":"The Silent","author":"admin","date":"April 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"If people know that you\u2019re into presidents, that it is your thing, you get to hear a lot of people tell you their favorite presidential anecdotes. 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