{"id":2978,"date":"2013-11-13T22:10:31","date_gmt":"2013-11-14T03:10:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=1825"},"modified":"2013-11-13T22:10:31","modified_gmt":"2013-11-14T03:10:31","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-selected-the-elliptical-machine-right-next-to-mine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-selected-the-elliptical-machine-right-next-to-mine\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to the woman who selected the elliptical machine right next to mine,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Why? Just why? Next time I encounter someone like you I am going to just do what I wanted to do, choose another elliptical machine. Doing that and feeling like a jerk is better than becoming angry and tense because out of the eight or so elliptical machines you wanted the one right next to me. \u00a0Also I wont have to see you lick your fingers in order to turn the pages on the communal magazines, nor will I have to watch you rip out the pages that you want to keep. \u00a0Watching you repeatedly pull your work out pants from your frontal nether regions was unpleasant as well. The upside is that you scared me off of the elliptical machines and I visited the track instead&#8230;.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Why? Just why? Next time I encounter someone like you I am going to just do what I wanted to do, choose another elliptical machine. Doing that and feeling like a jerk is better than becoming angry and tense because out of the eight or so elliptical machines you wanted the one right next to [&#8230;] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[10,208,764],"class_list":["post-2978","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-exercise","tag-neighbors","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-M2","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2534,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-pregnant-woman-who-shimmied-and-squeezed-in-order-to-avoid-walking-the-long-way-to-the-elliptical-machine-next-to-mine\/","url_meta":{"origin":2978,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the pregnant woman who shimmied and squeezed in order to avoid walking the long way to the elliptical machine next to mine,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMa\u2019am, I know that I am one of those people who can be weird about personal space, but next time you get on a gym machine directly next to someone else, you might not want to wear the perfume that makes the person next to you feel like she\u2019s tasting\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3094,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-an-open-letter-to-herself\/","url_meta":{"origin":2978,"position":1},"title":"In an open an open letter to herself,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf you do not go to the gym for a long time, but then go spend 40 minutes on a treadmill constantly playing with the incline and the speed, and then follow that with squats and ab exercises that you used to do but don\u2019 t do anymore, things will\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2608,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/its-all-in-how-you-frame-it-sort-of\/","url_meta":{"origin":2978,"position":2},"title":"It\u2019s all in how you frame it\u2013sort of","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"So, I am off to a good start with trying to be more active. Friday, I went to the gym just like I said I would and did the things that I had planned. Sunday, I took a super long \u2026 Continue reading \u2192","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"june12013","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.sherlonya.net\/resolution\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/june12013.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2609,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/5-months-later-and-i-need-a-plan\/","url_meta":{"origin":2978,"position":3},"title":"5 months later and I need a plan","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 30, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"This is one of those times where if I had done what I said I was going to do, I would have seen some results by now. But I didn\u2019t do that. However, what I need is a plan. I \u2026 Continue reading \u2192","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3024,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-public-restrooms\/","url_meta":{"origin":2978,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to public restrooms,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou chill my soul. I quake in fear whenever we encounter each other. I know that you\u2019re not supposed to sling around the words \u2018always\u2019 and \u2018never\u2019 in relationships, but ours has never been a healthy one. You always make me worry about my health. I am always concerned by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"gross\"","block_context":{"text":"gross","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/gross\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4769,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/06\/so-i-think-someone-tried-to-buy-sex-from-me-this-afternoon\/","url_meta":{"origin":2978,"position":5},"title":"So, I think someone tried to buy sex from me this afternoon","author":"admin","date":"June 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"It has been a while since I have felt genuine fear when approached by a man, and I don\u2019t miss that feeling at all. This story starts weeks ago. I was on a lunch break walking to a nearby restaurant, when I took an alternate route in order to avoid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;stranger than fiction&quot;","block_context":{"text":"stranger than fiction","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/stranger-than-fiction\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2978","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2978"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2978\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}