“I’m already a skittish driver; that didn’t help. Uh, what I mean is that I hope everyone’s okay; I’m glad there wasn’t a fire; and I \u00a0hope that both of you are all paid up on your auto insurance. I saw that one coming. Both of you were driving too fast, but turning car, you just turned out into oncoming traffic without stopping at all. I continue to hear that crunching sound hours after the event….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I’m already a skittish driver; that didn’t help. Uh, what I mean is that I hope everyone’s okay; I’m glad there wasn’t a fire; and I \u00a0hope that both of you are all paid up on your auto insurance. I saw that one coming. Both of you were driving too fast, but turning car, you […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[211,764],"class_list":["post-3013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-driving","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-MB","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4769,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/06\/so-i-think-someone-tried-to-buy-sex-from-me-this-afternoon\/","url_meta":{"origin":3013,"position":0},"title":"So, I think someone tried to buy sex from me this afternoon","author":"admin","date":"June 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"It has been a while since I have felt genuine fear when approached by a man, and I don\u2019t miss that feeling at all. This story starts weeks ago. I was on a lunch break walking to a nearby restaurant, when I took an alternate route in order to avoid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "stranger than fiction"","block_context":{"text":"stranger than fiction","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/stranger-than-fiction\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4303,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-busty-woman-considering-taking-the-trash-out-to-the-dumpster-without-putting-on-a-bra-first\/","url_meta":{"origin":3013,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to a busty woman considering taking the trash out to the dumpster without putting on a bra first,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cJust put on the bra. Otherwise you will wonder whether your neighbors see you. You will also wonder if the movement of your unfettered breasts reminds them of a waterbed. Or just put on a heavy coat. I mean, uh, this is what my imagination says\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2422,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-tanned-shirtless-silver-fox-i-saw-on-my-lunch-break\/","url_meta":{"origin":3013,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the tanned, shirtless silver fox I saw on my lunch break,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 1, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir, I have said this before, but I need to say it again; I am not used to this seasonal nudity. You, sir, almost caused me to walk right out into traffic with all your shirtlessness, and that tan, and those abs. You may just be a danger to innocent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3342,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-joe-biden-lookalike-she-saw-this-week\/","url_meta":{"origin":3013,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the Joe Biden lookalike she saw this week,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou were driving behind me. I noticed you in my rear view mirror. As I stared at you, I think that you felt the heat of my gaze. I think it made you uncomfortable. That is the most sympathetic reason I can use to justify the way that you began\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3288,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-young-man-in-the-uhaul-who-backed-into-someones-car-in-a-seven-lane-intersection\/","url_meta":{"origin":3013,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the young man in the Uhaul who backed into someone\u2019s car in a seven lane intersection,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou leave me both speechless and recommitted to the virtues of defensive driving.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3208,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-gloveless-woman-i-watched-throw-snow-on-a-cars-windshield\/","url_meta":{"origin":3013,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the gloveless woman I watched throw snow on a car\u2019s windshield,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThe last thing that I expected when you stopped slinging snow was for you to get into the newly be-snowed car and to commence driving. Way to keep it interesting.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3013","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3013"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3013\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3013"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3013"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3013"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}