“Really, there’s nothing much of interest going on in here. Based on the amount of time you spend skulking about in the parking lot and peering in the window, I’d think you’d know that by now. How is it that you’re so omnipresent?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Really, there’s nothing much of interest going on in here. Based on the amount of time you spend skulking about in the parking lot and peering in the window, I’d think you’d know that by now. How is it that you’re so omnipresent?” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[208,764],"class_list":["post-3046","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-neighbors","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-N8","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2289,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-pulled-right-in-front-of-me-to-ensure-that-he-got-the-parking-spot-he-wanted-putting-my-toes-in-danger\/","url_meta":{"origin":3046,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the man who pulled right in front of me to ensure that he got the parking spot he wanted, putting my toes in danger,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou, sir, are a jerk, and had I boy parts, I\u2019d have whipped out one of them and peed on your car. \u201c","rel":"","context":"In \"driving\"","block_context":{"text":"driving","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/driving\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2546,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-someone-who-can-imagine-being-seduced-by-lbj\/","url_meta":{"origin":3046,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to someone who can imagine being seduced by LBJ,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI know you\u2019re out there. I know that you can imagine the moment when you see that you\u2019ve caught his eye. I know you\u2019d watch as he decided whether or not to approach. He\u2019d stand too close. You would tell yourself that you\u2019re sweating because it\u2019s hot. You\u2019d know better.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "LBJ"","block_context":{"text":"LBJ","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/lbj\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2548,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-maury-povich\/","url_meta":{"origin":3046,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to Maury Povich,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMaury, it has to be said, you are looking pretty good for a man your age. Seriously, for someone born during World War II, you are in good shape, you have a lot of hair, and you seem to have a fair amount of vigor. Maybe there\u2019s something about being\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2547,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-someone-who-can-imagine-being-seduced-by-lbj\/","url_meta":{"origin":3046,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to someone who can imagine being seduced by LBJ,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI know you\u2019re out there. I know that you can imagine the moment when you see that you\u2019ve caught his eye. I know you\u2019d watch as he decided whether or not to approach. He\u2019d stand too close. You would tell yourself that you\u2019re sweating because it\u2019s hot. You\u2019d know better.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5449,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2021\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-old-people-who-aggressively-cut-me-off-in-the-parking-lot\/","url_meta":{"origin":3046,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the old people who aggressively cut me off in the parking lot,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 3, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019m not going to wish you a serious health problem\u2026just a few days of diarrhea which leaves your tissue-like butt skin raw for a few days.\u201d\ufeff","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3146,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/2013-in-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":3046,"position":5},"title":"2013 in review","author":"admin","date":"December 30, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"2013 was so much better than 2012.\u00a0 So. Much. Better.\u00a0 Back in February, I finished my goal to read a biography of each US president. \u00a0I was thrilled! But then I wondered how I would get my president fix. So, I started baking cupcakes in their honor. \u00a0This year I\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/IMG_5593.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3046","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3046"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3046\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3046"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3046"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3046"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}