“You woke me up. I never again want to see a scene where the toilets are trashcans, there is wetness all over the floors, and the stalls are partitioned by well-worn shower curtains. Also, I don’t want to see a hair salon situation in such a setting. Finally, since I’m no longer sleeping, those images should leave my mind–it’s only fair…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“You woke me up. I never again want to see a scene where the toilets are trashcans, there is wetness all over the floors, and the stalls are partitioned by well-worn shower curtains. Also, I don’t want to see a hair salon situation in such a setting. Finally, since I’m no longer sleeping, those images […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[237,593,764],"class_list":["post-3061","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dreams","tag-gross","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Nn","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3024,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-public-restrooms\/","url_meta":{"origin":3061,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to public restrooms,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou chill my soul. I quake in fear whenever we encounter each other. I know that you\u2019re not supposed to sling around the words \u2018always\u2019 and \u2018never\u2019 in relationships, but ours has never been a healthy one. You always make me worry about my health. I am always concerned by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"gross\"","block_context":{"text":"gross","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/gross\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2723,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-wrong-and-uncouth-mind\/","url_meta":{"origin":3061,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to her wrong and uncouth mind,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWhy do you do this to me, fill me up with thoughts that are too strange to ever utter aloud? Why do you get started so early? At least this morning I was in the shower where I could metaphorically cleanse myself while I actually cleansed myself. Give a gal\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2443,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-daddy-yankee-pandora-station\/","url_meta":{"origin":3061,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to her Daddy Yankee Pandora station,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI regret to inform you that I can no longer listen to you at work. You see, there is something about this music that makes my hips move involuntarily. This is inappropriate at best and probably most likely creepy\/downright gross. Additionally, this music both makes me mouth lyrics (not a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1572,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2012\/02\/goal-16-sledding\/","url_meta":{"origin":3061,"position":3},"title":"Goal 16: Sledding","author":"admin","date":"February 24, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Suddenly in the midst of a very mild Michigan winter snow was finally in the forecast. Don't get me wrong, I am not a snow lover. In fact, I have been known to say gross things like, \"I wouldn't mind if I never saw another snowflake; I'd be content to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/IMG_12141-300x224.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4130,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-high-school-teacher-who-once-said-toasked-of-me-you-dont-do-that-lil-kim-stuff-do-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":3061,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the high school teacher who once said to\/asked of me, \u201cYou don\u2019t do that Lil\u2019 Kim stuff, do you?\u201d","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 19, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cGross. 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You really knew how to wear a suit. \u00a0Also, you knew how to bald gracefully, a sign of your character in an age of hair.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3061","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3061"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3061\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}