{"id":3064,"date":"2013-12-13T22:42:12","date_gmt":"2013-12-14T03:42:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=1884"},"modified":"2013-12-13T22:42:12","modified_gmt":"2013-12-14T03:42:12","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-songs-that-are-supposedly-sexy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-songs-that-are-supposedly-sexy\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to songs that are supposedly sexy,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;So many of you sound more like threats than anything else. Thought you should know.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;So many of you sound more like threats than anything else. Thought you should know.&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[221,764],"class_list":["post-3064","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-fright","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Nq","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2484,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-neighbor\/","url_meta":{"origin":3064,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to her neighbor,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI am a sound sleeper. When other people complain about thunder and lightning through the night, I\u2019m all like \u2018It rained? Huh. I thought it smelled rather verdant around here.\u2019 So, for you to wake me from a sound sleep means that you were making some serious noise. Such, ahem,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4635,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-cashier-at-target\/","url_meta":{"origin":3064,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the cashier at Target,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 7, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cA couple of days later, I wish I would have just told you that I have some irritated skin on my neck. Instead, I keep wondering what you thought when I bought two different ointments and nothing else.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4108,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-feelings-unleashed-by-prematurely-listening-to-harry-connick-jr-doing-christmas-songs\/","url_meta":{"origin":3064,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the feelings unleashed by prematurely listening to Harry Connick Jr. doing Christmas songs,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 11, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cEven I am at a loss for words right now, but I have to tell you that wondering whether this music is regularly used to seduce during the holiday season is, well, a little different. As for the thought, \u2018this is the kind of music that makes you feel up\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2736,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-with-a-really-good-haircut\/","url_meta":{"origin":3064,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the man with a really good haircut,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201c\u2026.Keep on doing what you\u2019re doing. Your haircut was captivating, danger. I saw it when I was waiting to cross the street. My eyes didn\u2019t make it past your hair. Your salt and pepper was perfectly seasoned. I stared as you passed until I saw the walk sign. I thought\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3192,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-pastry-recipe\/","url_meta":{"origin":3064,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to a pastry recipe,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI read a lot of recipes. However, I have yet to come across a recipe that uses the words \u2018until thick and pasty,\u2019 and also succeeds in continuing to sound tasty. Please take this into consideration.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In &quot;baking&quot;","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3335,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-michael-macdonald\/","url_meta":{"origin":3064,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to Michael MacDonald,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cToday I tried to describe your voice to my son. I told him that you sound like warm, crumbly, buttery cookies. I successfully managed not to drool. However, he still looked quite horrified. 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