“If you do not go to the gym for a long time, but then go spend 40 minutes on a treadmill constantly playing with the incline and the speed, and then follow that with squats and ab exercises that you used to do but don’ t do anymore, things will hurt. All of the things, to be more specific. If you choose, the next day, to spend 45 minutes on the elliptical machine, then you might be so sore the following day that you go home, get in the bed, and somehow get out of your pants, determined to just stay in the bed. Also, you might want to avoid sneezing and laughing.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“If you do not go to the gym for a long time, but then go spend 40 minutes on a treadmill constantly playing with the incline and the speed, and then follow that with squats and ab exercises that you used to do but don’ t do anymore, things will hurt. All of the things, […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3094","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-NU","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3340,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-at-the-gym-with-the-very-interestingly-shaped-butt\/","url_meta":{"origin":3094,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the woman at the gym with the very interestingly shaped butt,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMa\u2019am, I would never have noticed the shape\/s of your rump had you not used the toilet, then proceeded toward the pool without washing your hands. At least you flushed.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5147,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/road-trip-2017-days-1-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":3094,"position":1},"title":"Road Trip 2017 – Days 1 & 2","author":"admin","date":"August 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This is the third time that Alex and I have taken a road trip before the school year begins. It occurred to me that this might be the last one that is timed this way. Next year he'll be in high school, and if he continues to run cross country,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/img_4460-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2968,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-rutherford-b-hayes\/","url_meta":{"origin":3094,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to Rutherford B. Hayes,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 1, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201c\u201dI have to confess that your beard has always reminded me of Shredded Wheat cereal. This reminds me of a man at the gym who\u2019s moustache makes me think of coarsely-ground coffee beans. President Hayes, on second thought, this might not be about you at all.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "obsessions"","block_context":{"text":"obsessions","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/obsessions\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2534,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-pregnant-woman-who-shimmied-and-squeezed-in-order-to-avoid-walking-the-long-way-to-the-elliptical-machine-next-to-mine\/","url_meta":{"origin":3094,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the pregnant woman who shimmied and squeezed in order to avoid walking the long way to the elliptical machine next to mine,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMa\u2019am, I know that I am one of those people who can be weird about personal space, but next time you get on a gym machine directly next to someone else, you might not want to wear the perfume that makes the person next to you feel like she\u2019s tasting\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1834,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2012\/05\/algeria\/","url_meta":{"origin":3094,"position":4},"title":"Algeria","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I promise that this blog isn\u2019t going to turn into a chronicle of memories about dates I had from men around the world. Really, really it won\u2019t. Really, really, I hope it won\u2019t. That said, when I was poking around online looking for information about Algeria, particularly Algerian food, when\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "cooking"","block_context":{"text":"cooking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/cooking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/basboussa.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":582,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2010\/03\/coconut-tapioca\/","url_meta":{"origin":3094,"position":5},"title":"Coconut Tapioca","author":"admin","date":"March 31, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I have been meaning to make bubble tea for forever and a day. Okay, right, that is obviously an exaggeration, but seriously it has been years. I even have the boba tapioca pearls in my pantry. Still it hasn't happened. Today was not the day either. However, being recently sick\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "cooking"","block_context":{"text":"cooking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/cooking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/DSCN0602-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3094","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3094"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3094\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3094"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3094"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3094"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}