“Commercials usually don’t move me to buy products, however, if there is a song in it that involves both, ‘it be hot like a desert, yo,’ and ‘she be walkin’ like an animal,’ it’s likely that I’m going to track the song down and maybe buy it.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Commercials usually don’t move me to buy products, however, if there is a song in it that involves both, ‘it be hot like a desert, yo,’ and ‘she be walkin’ like an animal,’ it’s likely that I’m going to track the song down and maybe buy it.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Q1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3071,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-t-i\/","url_meta":{"origin":3225,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to T. I.,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cDude, I don\u2019t even really listen to your genre, as you can tell both to my use of the word dude earlier in this sentence, and also \u00a0by my non-lyrical, non-ironic self-referencing sentence. However, I have to confess to you that \u2018Why You Wanna\u2019 is my current power song. This\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2551,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-kool-and-the-gang\/","url_meta":{"origin":3225,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to Kool and the Gang,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cToday, I ruined your song \u2018Fresh\u2019 for myself. You see, you describe someone as \u2018fresh as a summer breeze.\u2019 Clearly, whoever wrote this song did not frequent democratic gathering spots such as a bus stop or the Secretary of State office. At these places, the summer breeze can be anything\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4167,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-song-jingle-bell-rock\/","url_meta":{"origin":3225,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the song Jingle Bell Rock,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI really hope that someone\u2019s sexy times name for their special someone is \u2018Jinglehorse.\u2019 You have planted this desire in my heart.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3469,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-with-the-long-weave-and-exposed-buttocks\/","url_meta":{"origin":3225,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the woman with the long weave and exposed buttocks,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201d Girl, you remind me of a DJ assault song.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2443,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-daddy-yankee-pandora-station\/","url_meta":{"origin":3225,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to her Daddy Yankee Pandora station,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI regret to inform you that I can no longer listen to you at work. You see, there is something about this music that makes my hips move involuntarily. This is inappropriate at best and probably most likely creepy\/downright gross. Additionally, this music both makes me mouth lyrics (not a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4466,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-odb\/","url_meta":{"origin":3225,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to ODB,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI wish that there were a corollary to \u2018Shimmy Shimmy Ya,\u2019\u00a0I wish that the chorus in this imaginary song rang out, \u2018Ooh, baby I like it poached\u2026.'\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3225","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3225"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3225\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3225"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3225"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3225"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}