{"id":3244,"date":"2014-01-26T12:20:58","date_gmt":"2014-01-26T17:20:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=1981"},"modified":"2014-01-26T12:20:58","modified_gmt":"2014-01-26T17:20:58","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-the-blender","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-blender\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to the blender,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I suppose that I should just be grateful that this isn&#8217;t a eulogy. I know that I&#8217;ve been working you hard every day with all of my smoothie making, but yesterday, you gave me a scare. I guess you don&#8217;t like to blend collard greens? Maybe I should have romanced you better, seductively adding the greens strip-by-strip? I hope that we can overcome our differences&#8230;.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I suppose that I should just be grateful that this isn&#8217;t a eulogy. I know that I&#8217;ve been working you hard every day with all of my smoothie making, but yesterday, you gave me a scare. I guess you don&#8217;t like to blend collard greens? Maybe I should have romanced you better, seductively adding the [&#8230;] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3244","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Qk","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4656,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/02\/links-i-like-30\/","url_meta":{"origin":3244,"position":0},"title":"Links I Like #30","author":"admin","date":"February 28, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Having recently been on vacation eating lots of delicious things, makes me want to get back into the kitchen. 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Making a bunch of President-themed cupcakes doesn't just make my obsession intense\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;links!&quot;","block_context":{"text":"links!","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/links\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"linklove","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/linklove.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3287,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-blender\/","url_meta":{"origin":3244,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to her blender,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cDid you enjoy your little bath this morning? I wanted you to feel fresh before I take you on the road. 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