“I expected you to look horrible on me, or for me to look horrible wearing you…however you want to put it. However, you surprised me by looking horrible in totally unexpected ways. Way to keep it interesting. I have to confess, I’m not even upset. Bewildered, but not upset?..”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I expected you to look horrible on me, or for me to look horrible wearing you…however you want to put it. However, you surprised me by looking horrible in totally unexpected ways. Way to keep it interesting. I have to confess, I’m not even upset. Bewildered, but not upset?..” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-QX","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2865,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-paranoia\/","url_meta":{"origin":3283,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to her paranoia,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cOkay, it\u2019s time to stop bombarding me with all of the horrible things that one could easily do to me if they just swiped my glasses. The scenario is different each time, and just as scary as the last. Stop doing this to me.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4110,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-airport-personnel-manning-the-body-scanner\/","url_meta":{"origin":3283,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the airport personnel manning the body scanner,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou looked surprised when I didn\u2019t keep walking, encouraging me with a bewildered, \u2018Come on, baby.\u2019 But, since you were touching me, I thought you were telling me I needed to stop\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4358,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-portly-gentleman-in-synthetic-pants\/","url_meta":{"origin":3283,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the portly gentleman in synthetic pants,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 9, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI am upset by the visibility of your junk. This is my problem; I understand this.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1558,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2012\/02\/hair-story\/","url_meta":{"origin":3283,"position":3},"title":"Hair story","author":"admin","date":"February 22, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I was the victim of a bad haircut. Not recently, but I still sting at that unfortunate event. I had decided to grow out my relaxer and went on a whim, during my lunch break to get the remainder of the relaxed hair cut off. Long story short, the person\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/IMG_0789-224x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3769,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-son-who-left-his-completed-homework-in-the-car\/","url_meta":{"origin":3283,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to her son who left his completed homework in the car,","author":"admin","date":"October 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\"It pained me to see your typed poems left in the passenger area of the car. My instinct was to get this to you somehow, however, it is your job both to complete the homework and to submit the homework. I did my part by asking you about it. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"disappointment\"","block_context":{"text":"disappointment","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/disappointment\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":575,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2010\/03\/comfort-food\/","url_meta":{"origin":3283,"position":5},"title":"Comfort food","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 24, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Everyone has her ultimate comfort food. Mine is grits. Every time I don't feel well, be it a headache or an upset stomach, I look to the grits to help me feel better. I don't know how grits came to hold this special place. 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