“Wow. You really are getting desperate. I Investigate a song and find out that it’s ‘Old Devil Moon.’ I go tumbling down an internet tangent and find myself at Toni Morrison’s feet. What are you trying to do to me? It’s been over three years since we’ve last known each other….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Wow. You really are getting desperate. I Investigate a song and find out that it’s ‘Old Devil Moon.’ I go tumbling down an internet tangent and find myself at Toni Morrison’s feet. What are you trying to do to me? It’s been over three years since we’ve last known each other….” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,3],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-writing","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-QY","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4274,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-son-who-needs-to-put-on-some-better-fitting-underwear\/","url_meta":{"origin":3284,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to her son who needs to put on some better-fitting underwear,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSweetie, those boxers are so tight that the flap has pulled open in desperation. Son, can\u2019t you feel that chill on your penis? It looks like someone getting ready to skydive, like any moment it\u2019s going to come tumbling out of there. See, sweetie, you\u2019ve reached the age where I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2551,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-kool-and-the-gang\/","url_meta":{"origin":3284,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to Kool and the Gang,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cToday, I ruined your song \u2018Fresh\u2019 for myself. You see, you describe someone as \u2018fresh as a summer breeze.\u2019 Clearly, whoever wrote this song did not frequent democratic gathering spots such as a bus stop or the Secretary of State office. At these places, the summer breeze can be anything\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3071,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-t-i\/","url_meta":{"origin":3284,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to T. I.,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cDude, I don\u2019t even really listen to your genre, as you can tell both to my use of the word dude earlier in this sentence, and also \u00a0by my non-lyrical, non-ironic self-referencing sentence. However, I have to confess to you that \u2018Why You Wanna\u2019 is my current power song. This\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1774,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2012\/05\/a-is-for-afghanistan\/","url_meta":{"origin":3284,"position":3},"title":"A is for Afghanistan","author":"admin","date":"May 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Recently, I said to my guy that I think that it would be cool to go through\u00a0list of countries and cook food from each of these countries, in alphabetical order. He did not look at me like I am from a different planet. I love that man. Anyway, it seemed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "cooking"","block_context":{"text":"cooking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/cooking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/cardamom-fudge.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5059,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-friendly-man-who-sat-next-to-me-at-the-hall-and-oates-concert\/","url_meta":{"origin":3284,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the friendly man who sat next to me at the Hall and Oates concert,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI suspect that the reason you started talking to me is because you felt bad that I was there by myself. It was a little weird how you kept leaning over though putting your upper side in contact with mine to tell me how much your wife was into the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":439,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2010\/03\/if-running-doesnt-make-you-a-runner-what-does\/","url_meta":{"origin":3284,"position":5},"title":"If running doesn’t make you a runner, what does?","author":"admin","date":"March 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometime after I had run the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon, I made reference to \"real runners,\" which did not include myself. One of the people with whom I was talking stopped, looked at me, and said, \"You just ran a half marathon. What do you mean real runners?\" I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"exercise\"","block_context":{"text":"exercise","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/exercise\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/base_media.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3284"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3284\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}