{"id":3285,"date":"2014-02-13T16:35:53","date_gmt":"2014-02-13T21:35:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=1999"},"modified":"2014-02-13T16:35:53","modified_gmt":"2014-02-13T21:35:53","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-her-phone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-phone\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to her phone,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;You are a constant reminder of my interests and proclivities. Today, for instance, when I decided to look for some information about The Doobie Brothers, I was greeted by the results of my images search for Huel Perkins&#8230;.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;You are a constant reminder of my interests and proclivities. 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It\u2019s a nasty habit of mine. When I saw you though, all sorts of alarms went off in my head. Especially after I saw you both in the Halloween store and in the craft store. My mama gut told me to keep my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"junk\"","block_context":{"text":"junk","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/junk\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3909,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-man-whom-i-watched-close-his-front-door-for-an-extended-period-of-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":3285,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to a man whom I watched close his front door for an extended period of time,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI noticed you because of your bright sweat shirt. Then I saw you close your door, and then lock it. Then you pulled at your door handle. Then you jiggled it. Then you repeated the jiggling. Then you tried to turn the handle. Then you jiggled it some more. Then\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3999,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-she-watched-pick-her-nose-for-an-extended-period-of-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":3285,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the woman she watched pick her nose for an extended period of time,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have never seen someone commit to picking her nose the way that you did. As I openly stared at you not bothering to disguise my gaze, you didn\u2019t even acknowledge my presence. I am perplexed by the science behind your nose picking. 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For instance, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/ginger.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4249,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-lebron-james\/","url_meta":{"origin":3285,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to LeBron James,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 31, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cBecause the people have decided to call you LBJ, if I ever decide to get a Lyndon Johnson tattoo, it will have to be of his face.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In &quot;LBJ&quot;","block_context":{"text":"LBJ","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/lbj\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2293,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-another-bra-that-has-decided-to-quit-on-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":3285,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to another bra that has decided to quit on me,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThis is starting to feel personal. You could have warned me, sent me a sign or two. Your treachery hurt me. Literally. What excuse do you have for an underwire snapped in half? 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