“I have to admit that you were a convenient receptacle for my basest and most reprehensible thoughts. You loved it when I let pretty words dance together in order to describe something disgusting. That’s all you’re getting out of me….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I have to admit that you were a convenient receptacle for my basest and most reprehensible thoughts. You loved it when I let pretty words dance together in order to describe something disgusting. That’s all you’re getting out of me….” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,3],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3286","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-writing","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-R0","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2292,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-piece-of-king-cake-that-made-me-want\/","url_meta":{"origin":3286,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to a piece of king cake that made me want,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI probably shouldn\u2019t be telling you this, but as soon as I took that bread knife in hand, I knew that my basest desires would be unleashed. I have never felt this way about a piece of food before, but you made a million Prince songs go through my head,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"cake\"","block_context":{"text":"cake","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/cake\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4749,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/04\/looking-for-lyndon-2-if-you-let-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":3286,"position":1},"title":"Looking for Lyndon #2: If You Let Him","author":"admin","date":"April 10, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 I need to borrow from Whitman in order to talk about Lyndon Johnson. He contained multitudes. This is a part of the draw, a part of the attraction to him. There are so many stories of Johnson's crudeness, the id taken over. There are stories that I would find\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "LBJ"","block_context":{"text":"LBJ","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/lbj\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Looking-for-Lyndon","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Looking-for-Lyndon.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":991,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2010\/12\/waste-not-want-not\/","url_meta":{"origin":3286,"position":2},"title":"Waste not, want not","author":"admin","date":"December 23, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"There is one thing that I consistently feel bad about in my cooking life. Wasted food. It is such a disgusting habit. So, I am actively trying to work on it. These are the conditions under which tonight's dinner was born. I opened the fridge to find a flaccid bunch\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "cooking"","block_context":{"text":"cooking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/cooking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/DSCN1858-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2621,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-son-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":3286,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to her son,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cDude, today I heard you snapping as music played\u2026and let\u2019s just say this; it is intentional that I did not describe it as snapping to the music. How is this possible? You were weirdly early, sporadically. I never understand this in people. The beat is so audible, so predictable, so\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3015,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-sister-in-law\/","url_meta":{"origin":3286,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to her sister-in-law,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 29, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNow that you work in a hospital, I can\u2019t stop asking all sorts of uncouth questions about the body once things have gone wrong. I find it quite satisfying in a disgusting sort of way. However, those stories about the various and sundry items people insert in various bodily nooks\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5138,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-old-enough-to-be-my-father-who-grabbed-my-rump-during-a-public-event-celebrating-the-eclipse\/","url_meta":{"origin":3286,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the man old enough to be my father who grabbed my rump during a public event celebrating the eclipse,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI wish I would have \u2018accidentally\u2019 stepped on your foot. Hard. Also, is there no stolen touches etiquette? A more polite way to violate a stranger? Couldn\u2019t you have done with a knuckle graze rather than an actual deliberate squeeze? Also, couldn\u2019t you grab and go rather than stay nearby.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3286","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3286"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3286\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3286"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3286"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}