“Did you enjoy your little bath this morning? I wanted you to feel fresh before I take you on the road. You see, I’ve become rather accustomed to enjoying a daily smoothie, and bringing you with me is the best way to make this likely.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Did you enjoy your little bath this morning? I wanted you to feel fresh before I take you on the road. You see, I’ve become rather accustomed to enjoying a daily smoothie, and bringing you with me is the best way to make this likely.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-R1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2377,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-four-legs-i-saw-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":3287,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the four legs I saw this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYoung ladies, if you are going to wear panty-length shorts before us Michiganders are accustomed to seasonal nudity, I suggest you stick to sidewalks instead of walking precariously on the edge of the road. Be safe!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"legs\"","block_context":{"text":"legs","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/legs\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3244,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-blender\/","url_meta":{"origin":3287,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the blender,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI suppose that I should just be grateful that this isn\u2019t a eulogy. I know that I\u2019ve been working you hard every day with all of my smoothie making, but yesterday, you gave me a scare. I guess you don\u2019t like to blend collard greens? 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I don\u2019t have horrible, horrible eating habits, but they could use some work. \u2026 Continue reading \u2192","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"greensmoothieno1","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.sherlonya.net\/resolution\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/greensmoothieno1.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3991,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-parent-who-impatiently-blew-her-horn-at-me-when-my-son-was-kissing-me-goodbye\/","url_meta":{"origin":3287,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the parent who impatiently blew her horn at me when my son was kissing me goodbye,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMy immediate thought was that you were jealous because your child doesn\u2019t kiss you every morning. 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