“The things we did together this morning made me think of you all day long. I imagined peeling back your paper. I waited for the moment when my teeth would tear through your crackly exterior. Save some for tomorrow morning….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“The things we did together this morning made me think of you all day long. I imagined peeling back your paper. I waited for the moment when my teeth would tear through your crackly exterior. Save some for tomorrow morning….” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3294","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-R8","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4020,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/lyndon-johnson-tank-top\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":0},"title":"Lyndon Johnson Tank Top","author":"admin","date":"November 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I know that even for someone who openly admits to loving the presidents, and also for having a unique interest in President Lyndon Johnson, that making a LBJ tank top might be at the very edge of what's considered socially acceptable behavior. Sometimes, however, there are things that you want\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/lbjshirt5.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":232,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2009\/09\/battle-zucchini\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":1},"title":"Battle Zucchini","author":"admin","date":"September 12, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"It was worse than a dark and story night. It was a summer day that felt like fall, the kind of day that made you want to slaughter and devour pumpkins, preferably while quaffing cider. Then, at the wrong place and the wrong time entered a zucchini. A monster of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "cooking"","block_context":{"text":"cooking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/cooking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/08\/100_2295-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5188,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-eating-a-naked-banana-in-two-inch-chunks-as-she-waited-for-her-coffee\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the woman eating a naked banana in two-inch chunks as she waited for her coffee,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 4, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI could not look away. I am ashamed of this fact.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2784,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-at-three-in-the-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to herself at three in the morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWe are by no means starving. Please do not wake me up again because you say we\u2019re hungry. Can\u2019t you convert some of our excess thigh meat into energy or something?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2785,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-at-three-in-the-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to herself at three in the morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWe are by no means starving. Please do not wake me up again because you say we\u2019re hungry. Can\u2019t you convert some of our excess thigh meat into energy or something?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3991,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-parent-who-impatiently-blew-her-horn-at-me-when-my-son-was-kissing-me-goodbye\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the parent who impatiently blew her horn at me when my son was kissing me goodbye,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMy immediate thought was that you were jealous because your child doesn\u2019t kiss you every morning. 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