“Because I need to be decently groomed tomorrow, you are going to get a workout tonight. I will be as quick as I can with the flat iron, but you know how much hair is up there. You can do this.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Because I need to be decently groomed tomorrow, you are going to get a workout tonight. I will be as quick as I can with the flat iron, but you know how much hair is up there. You can do this.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[327,1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hair","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Rl","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4972,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-joe-biden\/","url_meta":{"origin":3307,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to Joe Biden,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI need you more now than I have ever needed you. Can you visit me tonight while I sleep, you know, in my dreams? You can do whatever you want. You can read legislation verbatim. Bring Jill, brush her hair. Anything. You might be the only thing that can stop\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3386,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-have-me-a-card-for-a-hair-extensions-business\/","url_meta":{"origin":3307,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who have me a card for a hair extensions business,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNumber 1: how much hair do you think I need? Number 2: I had JUST noticed that the edge hair around here was looking rather skimpy\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4291,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-blonde-woman-in-leather-pants-whose-hair-was-the-same-color-as-her-ivory-sweater\/","url_meta":{"origin":3307,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the blonde woman in leather pants whose hair was the same color as her ivory sweater,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019ll keep this short. Hair mask.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4293,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-exercise-and-eating-more-deliberately\/","url_meta":{"origin":3307,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to exercise and eating more deliberately,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThank you for helping me to feel less packed into my workout clothes.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3299,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-rod-stewart\/","url_meta":{"origin":3307,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to Rod Stewart,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThough, finding myself on the wrong side of this behavior too many times, I am opposed to one stranger reaching out to touch the hair of another without permission. That said, if I ever find myself in close proximity to you, I am going to try to touch your hair.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2426,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-on-a-questionable-hair-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":3307,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to herself on a questionable hair day,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cLady, next time you squeeze a more-than-quarter-sized dollop of hair gel into your hand, \u00a0just scrape some of it into the sink. This is especially true if you don\u2019t even know when you last relaxed your hair. Otherwise, you will catch a glimpse of yourself in your car window and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3307\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}