“You were driving behind me. I noticed you in my rear view mirror. As I stared at you, I think that you felt the heat of my gaze. I think it made you uncomfortable. That is the most sympathetic reason I can use to justify the way that you began to attack your nose. Your finger was so far up your nostril that your entire nose moved around as you dug in there. I remained impressed with how much of your finger you were able to cram up there. Because of your resemblance to Joey B., I wanted to get out of my car and offer you some of my tissues. However, that would have just been weird and I have to draw the line somewhere….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“You were driving behind me. I noticed you in my rear view mirror. As I stared at you, I think that you felt the heat of my gaze. I think it made you uncomfortable. That is the most sympathetic reason I can use to justify the way that you began to attack your nose. Your […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-RU","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3999,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-she-watched-pick-her-nose-for-an-extended-period-of-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":3342,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the woman she watched pick her nose for an extended period of time,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have never seen someone commit to picking her nose the way that you did. As I openly stared at you not bothering to disguise my gaze, you didn\u2019t even acknowledge my presence. I am perplexed by the science behind your nose picking. I couldn\u2019t see any of your pinky\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4597,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/10\/big-breasts-and-a-memory\/","url_meta":{"origin":3342,"position":1},"title":"Big Breasts and a Memory","author":"admin","date":"October 21, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Having recently moved, I find myself stumbling into memories as I try to determining how best to live in this space, and as I try to find a place for everything. Upon seeing a book from an African history I took in college in order to fulfill the non-Western,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "memories"","block_context":{"text":"memories","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/memories\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/image.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2537,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-bicyclist-who-rode-while-exposing-a-good-three-inches-of-rear-end\/","url_meta":{"origin":3342,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the bicyclist who rode while exposing a good three inches of rear end,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir, it was the exposed buttock region that first got my attention. Then, however, I noticed that the crackside shadows made it look like you were wearing thong panties. So, of course, I had to get a closer look. I didn\u2019t see any underwear at all. This is, of course,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5185,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-man-two-out-of-three-who-stared-directly-into-my-crotch-as-i-ran-my-sunday-errands\/","url_meta":{"origin":3342,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to man two out of three who stared directly into my crotch as I ran my Sunday errands,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIsn\u2019t Sunday the day of rest?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5187,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-three-men-who-stared-into-my-crotch-as-i-ran-errands-yesterday\/","url_meta":{"origin":3342,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the three men who stared into my crotch as I ran errands yesterday,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cGentlemen, each of you deserve your own open letter. I have so many questions. Like, what were you looking for?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5306,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2019\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-stared-at-my-chest-as-if-it-were-a-magic-eye-poster\/","url_meta":{"origin":3342,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the man who stared at my chest as if it were a Magic Eye poster,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 28, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir,\u00a0 you were pushing what appeared to be a very heavy cart. You put everyone\u2019s toes in jeopardy. Be better.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3342","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3342"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3342\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}