“Listen, I know you’re trying to squeeze it all in, but trying to change your clothes as you drove from picking up your son to your exercise was a bad move. You deserved to be tangled and exposed at the wheel. But, I do have to say that your resolve to look directly forward and pretend that everything was normal once you accepted that you lost the fight was admirable. Maybe anyone who looked into your car thought that having your regular bra, your sports bra, your shirt and the seatbelt in a tangled mess that violated most modesty standards was the look you were going for….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Listen, I know you’re trying to squeeze it all in, but trying to change your clothes as you drove from picking up your son to your exercise was a bad move. You deserved to be tangled and exposed at the wheel. But, I do have to say that your resolve to look directly forward and […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Se","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":685,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2010\/05\/t-shirts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3362,"position":0},"title":"T-shirts","author":"admin","date":"May 31, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Like everyone else you know, I have accumulated far too many t-shirts in the last few years.\u00a0 In my recent attempts to get myself in order I was forced to acknowledge that I just have too many of them. Seriously, I don't even store them with my other clothes. Well,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "clothes"","block_context":{"text":"clothes","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/clothes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/DSCN1215-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5326,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2019\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-my-nursing-son\/","url_meta":{"origin":3362,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to my nursing son,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 15, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPlease don\u2019t squeeze the Charmin.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "parenthood"","block_context":{"text":"parenthood","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/parenthood\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4303,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-busty-woman-considering-taking-the-trash-out-to-the-dumpster-without-putting-on-a-bra-first\/","url_meta":{"origin":3362,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to a busty woman considering taking the trash out to the dumpster without putting on a bra first,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cJust put on the bra. Otherwise you will wonder whether your neighbors see you. You will also wonder if the movement of your unfettered breasts reminds them of a waterbed. Or just put on a heavy coat. I mean, uh, this is what my imagination says\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4666,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-stowing-her-phone-in-her-bra\/","url_meta":{"origin":3362,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the woman stowing her phone in her bra,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou don\u2019t have the rack for that.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4293,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-exercise-and-eating-more-deliberately\/","url_meta":{"origin":3362,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to exercise and eating more deliberately,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThank you for helping me to feel less packed into my workout clothes.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2293,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-another-bra-that-has-decided-to-quit-on-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":3362,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to another bra that has decided to quit on me,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThis is starting to feel personal. You could have warned me, sent me a sign or two. Your treachery hurt me. Literally. What excuse do you have for an underwire snapped in half? Explain yourself!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"betrayal\"","block_context":{"text":"betrayal","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/betrayal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3362","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3362"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3362\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}